The Return

The Beginning

FIVE YEARS AGO

Two lines.

Two parallel lines shone back at me. I stared at the stick blinking and tried to absorb what it was trying to tell me.

This can't be right, i thought to myself.
This is not right.

I shook my head vigorously as a reply and took out another stick from the packet, ripping the packet open and clip the top off. I dipped it into my pee that was sitting in a cup on the sink in the bathroom.

"Well?" Connie was standing outside waiting for the result. That I already had in my hand. I was in denial. I had been from the very instance. Before I set foot into the pharmacy.

"I think it was faulty I'm trying another one" I tried to convince both of us. Mainly me.

"Can I come in?" She asked as she pushed the door open without waiting for a reply. She always did that, the girl did what she want with no hesitation. I'm just surprised she took this long to do it. I knew this was eating her alive just as much as was with me.

I slide the first test I did to her and she stares at it much like what I thought I looked like when I saw the result. "Oh... yeah definitely try another one. It could be a false positive. Those happen more often than not" we're both trying to convince ourselves that I'm not. But I feel it. I feel pregnant. I've gained weight and I have the worst case of nausea. I know I am. I can feel it inside of me. I just don't know what to do about it.

What can I do?
Do another test? That's not going to take it all way from me. It won't bring me back in time for a do-over.

I have to face the possibility of being actually pregnant, as a teen. Eighteen and pregnant.

Do I get rid of it? Do I keep it? This could change my life either way. My parents are going to kill me.

I graduate in a week. I couldn't have waited a little longer. I had to go to that party. I had to get really drunk. I had to hook up with the quarterback of my high school football team. I just had to didn't I? And now look where it's landed me?

"It's positive too..." Connie says slowly and I bit my lower lip, and wondered what I should do. "Okay, lets not panic-"

"Panic! It's easy for you to say Connie! You're not pregnant! I am! Me! I haven't even fucking graduated" I point to myself trying to breathe. I feel dizzy.

My life is officially over. Everyone looks down on teen moms and even if you give it up there will always be a rumour that you were. The abortion clinics always have someone you know in there. I'd have to go out of town for it, my parents won't do it. I'm so dead. 

I sat down on the closed lid of the toilet seat. Breathed in and out until i got a good rhythm going. "You know I'll be here for you right? Whatever you decide" She crouched down in front of me, she rubbed my left thigh up and down as she tried to soothe me. It didn't do any good, I was panicking and she knew it.

"What am I going to do? My parents will flip Connie..." I could feel the tears brewing in my eyes. The stinging sensation is a huge giveaway.

My mind was going round and round like a rollercoaster, one I couldn't get off of. I was stuck on it and in for one hell of a ride.

"Let's get you to a doctor first and see what your options are? I'm not a professional by any means. I don't want to influence you but a doctor will help Blake" she convinced me and I agreed with her. I should know my options but I needed to know one hundred percent before I made any decision. I'm not thinking straight.