Perfect Little Accidents

Chapter 32

I had decided to go back to school and I've been there for a few weeks. It was so hard being here after everything that I went through. I was just tired and broken and it broke my heart being away from my daughters.

Another day of class was ending now and I sighed as I looked around. I went home, finding both my daughters down for naps. I sighed as I grabbed some food, sitting on the couch.

"You feeling okay, Baby?" He asked.

"Yeah, just tired and stressed," I mumbled. "The girls were up screaming half the night and I'm just tired. I know you were up to and I just feel like I am whining and complaining.

"You aren't," he denied. "You're a mom and you're in school and it's understandable to be tired, you don't have to compare yourself to other people. And it makes it especially harder on you mentally because of what happened with my dad and I am so sorry that that happened to you."

I nodded softly and he kissed my cheek.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay," he whispered.

"I know," I mumbled.

Frank gave me a kiss and I smiled.

"I know that one day I'm gonna be happy and I'm gonna be better but I just wish that day would come sooner and easier," I said.

"It'll be okay," he said. "It may take a little while but that's okay because one day you're gonna be okay and you're gonna be so happy."

"I think that the thing I'm most scared about is my daughters," I said. "I just don't want them to have to go through everything that I did and I don't want them to feel the way that I do ever. Sometimes I wish that we had little boys instead of little girls because then little boys would have it so much easier."

Frank held me close, running his fingers through my hair.

"Maybe our next baby will be a little boy," he said.

"Next baby?" I asked and he nodded. "When do you want another baby?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. "I kinda want them to be close in age. Maybe when the girls are two or three we can try again. We'll still be in college but we'll almost be done. And I would rather be married before we had our third kid."

"How many to you want?" I asked.

"I don't know, I think just three, maybe four," he said. "Maybe we'll have twins again and then we'll have four kids."

"We were so lucky to have twins," I said. "I love them so much."

"I love them too," he said.

"And I hope that our third kid is a little boy, we already have two girls," I said.

"I would really like to have a son," he agreed. "But I have a feeling that he's just gonna be a little mama's boy."

"Well good, Cherry's a little daddy's girl just clinging onto you and Lily is just impartial to both of us, she just wants to drink from my tits," I said.

Frank chuckled and I heard crying from upstairs.

"I'll go get her," he said. "Sounds like Lily."

He went upstairs before coming back with Lily in his arms.

"So beautiful," he muttered, kissing her forehead. "I love you, my little Lily Bear."

I smiled, curling up with him in on the couch.

"It's almost our four year anniversary," he said. "I was thinking that maybe we can go out to dinner somewhere fancy and my mom can watch the girls."