Little Thoughts Of Mine

I love you

I can't wait to be away from here. Not because I don't love you but because of the people that surround me, and their negativity. They say just because they're your blood doesn't mean you have to keep them in your life, oh but have you met my family? If I don't kiss a family member hello, I turn out to be a ungrateful brat, or typically a bitch. I turn into the hot topic of the family gossip, the one everyone talks about when I have my ear buds on at a family gathering, you see I could feel their gaze on me and i can hear their whispers as I leave the room and their judgement, but you see I stopped giving a damn when my own blood called me a whore in front of everyone and all hell broke loose, even my own mother told me to never trust my own family and hell I took those words to heart because only I know what she's gone through and as with friends.. it's not my fault I don't have the heart to tell the girls and boys that call me their "bestfriend" that they are too toxic for me and my mental health, but if I ignore them for a mere second I turn out being a "fake friend" or a "snake" but wasn't it they who called me a bitch behind my back when I couldn't hang out? Why should I give them the benefit of the doubt when they keep proving to me that they don't deserve more chances than my heart has given them? I can't wait to be far away from here, because when I am away they will soon forget of my presence and call every once a while..you know I've grown tired of my life motto towards them "fake it till you make it" but what if I never make it. Their sour aroma brings bittersweet feelings and memories that haunt me in my sleep and taunts me in my dreams. So don't think I don't love you not one moment , because you were the only one that was sincere to me every bit of our journey.