She never expected him to show up at her apartment. So when the doorbell rang and she answered it to find him standing there, she was entirely shocked.
"What are you doing here?", she asked. "Leave".
"We need to talk", he responded, seriousness to his tone. "You wouldn't answer my calls. I need to talk to you".
"There's nothing to talk about", she said, starting to push the door shut but his hand shot out, preventing her from closing it. Instead, he pushed it open further, stepping inside.
"We have to talk!", he said again.
"Don't worry about it", she said tearfully.
"Valerie, there's no way I can just forget about it, or not worry about it. If you're pregnant with my child, I need to be involved. We need to talk", he responded.
"No", she said, shaking her head. "You really, really don't need to worry about it. I've taken care of it myself. Like I said, just forget I ever told you".
His eyes widened then, as he grew quiet.
"Did you-", he asked, concern in his eyes. "Did you- did you get an abortion?". He went pale. And he gave a sad exhale when she began to cry, covering her face with her hands.
"Did you? Hey. Look at me", he said, gently pulling her hands away from her face. She wouldn't look at him though.
"Val. Oh sweetheart!", he said as she began to sob, as he pulled her to himself. She resisted only slightly, but he didn't let her pull away, holding her tightly.
"Did you?", he asked as he held her. "Please answer me".
"Not yet", she responded, sobbing against his chest. "Tomorrow".
"Is that- is that what you want?", he asked her. His voice was sad. Almost reluctant as if he didn't want her to get an abortion.
"It's what you want", she sobbed in response.
His brows furrowed and he pulled back a bit looking down at her, his hand taking her chin. "No", he said shaking his head. "I want whatever you want. If you want to have an abortion, fine. Let me at least be there for you. If you want to go the adoption route, fine. We'll do it together. And if you want to keep the baby, fine. I'll be there for you. Whatever you want. But you've got to let me be there for you. And it has to truly be what you want", he answered.
"But you don't want me to have it", she cried as he pulled her back against his chest. "I know you don't".
"I-", he began, hesitating a moment. "I want whatever you want. Okay? If I have a kid, I have a kid. I'll deal with it. Well deal with it. We'll coparent. The kid will be happy and loved and I'll be there for you and the little one", he insisted.
"You don't even think it's yours", she cried against his chest.
"No. I was being an ass. Okay? I do think it's mine. You said it's mine, and I believe you. I was just upset and- I should never have let my emotions get to me. I shouldn't have insinuated anything or assumed anything. And I shouldn't have ever thrown it in your face that we had sex that night", he said. "You did nothing wrong", he added.
"We could do this. We could make it work", he shrugged.
"I can't", she said, shaking her head. "I can't. I'm nineteen. You're- you", she said. "We can't have a baby together. We can't".
"So you want to get an abortion? You're sure?", he asked. "You really want to go through with it?".
She nodded. "I have to".
"No, you don't have to. You don't have to do anything, sweetheart. It's what you want. Do you want that?", he asked. He found himself disappointed when she nodded.
He didn't know why he was sad. He knew he should be relieved. But since she'd told him, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He'd accepted it. He was going to have a kid with her. And now knowing that tomorrow that was going to change, well, he couldn't help but feel disappointed. He couldn't help but feel sad. He'd found himself...a bit excited to have a baby. He'd always wanted a son. What if she was carrying that son? Disappointment filled him. He'd already been picturing himself, teaching the little one how to ride a bike or play football. He pictured himself arguing with the little one whether or not it was called football or soccer. He pictured taking the boy on trips. They could go camping and fishing together. He'd dreamed about taking the little boy camping around the countryside. Them playing together. He'd thought about it all. What it would be like to have a son. And he truly did want one. But he understood. She was nineteen years old. They didn't know each other very well at all. She'd gotten pregnant from a one night stand. Not to mention he'd been such an ass to her. He understood. And if she wanted an abortion, he'd support her. It killed him inside, but he'd support her. He shouldn't have let himself get excited. That was his own fault.
She was scared. She was scared to have his child. She was scared to have a child in general. And though she didn't want to have an abortion, not truly, she knew the man probably didn't want her to have his baby. Would he even be a good father? How would he be a good father? They live in totally different countries. He was only here for a short time for work. And he was constantly busy, flying all over the world filming movies. As much as she didn't want to have an abortion, she knew she had to.
"Okay", he said quietly. "Okay. What time should I pick you up?", he asked, trying not to let his sadness seep through in to his words. He had to be strong for her.
"The appointment is at nine", she said. "They said to be there by eight thirty to fill out paperwork", she answered through tears.
"You want me to come around seven forty five?", he asked. She simply nodded.
"Alright", he said, his voice still sad. "Alright".
He held her for a while as she cried. He had to squeeze his own eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling, but they seeped through anyways.
"Why'd I let myself get excited?", he asked himself in his mind.
And the dream he'd had about having a little boy of his own, it hurt him so badly now knowing it'd never happen . The images of the dream still fresh in his mind. Him, taking the boy on a camping trip. It played out over and over, and he had to fight to push it away .
It would never happen.
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