Diary Of A Teenage Christian Girl

01 :: Amy

Fast forward a couple years. I'd found that I sprouted into a kind-hearted, authentic, obstinate, idiosyncratic teenage girl.

Mia's betrayal still plagued my mind, a constant reminder to kindly decline offerings of friendship or affection.

"Are you nervous?" My mother asked, having then just pulling into a spot in front of the large gates.

I was finally starting high school; fourteen and monotonous as ever.

I shrugged, opening the door. "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger."

My mother shook her head before pulling out of the parking lot and rushing off to the "department of unemployment".

I looked up at the high gates and flooded entrance area; I was really alone then.

Many found my attitude and energy odd, or unusual. I was always the girl who was way too nice, or the stupid one to nonbelievers.

I shrugged off the hushed comments and furrowed-stares, my motivation being that to be kind in a world so cruel was a talent, a talent that very few attained.

"Welcome to your first year of high school; grade eight. This is your first step into writing your own future, make it count."

"Perhaps," I'd whispered to myself.

I didn't have the power to write my own future. I could sketch what I wanted it to be like, but there was no certainty that that was what was going to happen.

God writes our future, and no matter how many nights spent studying or how many days spent dreaming, if it wasn't meant for you, it would never happen.

You can derail from God's path for your life, but you'll never steer into another path and have smooth sailing.

The sooner people realized that, the sooner everybody would make peace with failure in worldly dreams and success in heavenly expeditions.

This doesn't mean, though, that you should give up, sit back and wait for God to send a sign.

This only means do your best with consultation from God; pray to Him about your dreams, and your goals and ask for His blessing and guidance.

We all stood and followed the senior, looking out at the field scattered with different obstacles and challenges.

I couldn't help but agree with their choice for our orientation.

Step 1: Acknowledging your challenges and being prepared for them.

The field looked scary. Every obstacle course somehow reminded me of all of my strengths and weaknesses.

Even so, I went over each obstacle knowing what to expect and knowing that each obstacle would challenge me in a different way.

I briskly came to the realization that human interaction and group work were not my strongest suits.

"Do you have any ideas?" A girl blonde hair asked, a small smile on her face as she silently encouraged me to speak.

I shook my head, "What you guys have is pretty good."

She nodded, accepting that I wasn't very talkative. Her and I would be friends for majority of eighth grade and ninth, but she'd move to England for tenth grade.

And so, I found myself alone.

Luckily, I'd gotten the gist of most things high school; Keep my head low, keep a low profile, don't speak unless spoken to, eat outside the library, immerse self with books.

It was one day during the physical education period that a girl came up to me, and complimented my eyes.

I softly acknowledged the compliment before trying to focus on the game of netball.

"We've been in the same class since the beginning, but we've never spoken." She said, looking directly at me.

How was I suppose to respond?

When I remained silent, she spoke again. "My name is Amy. You're Tasha, right?"

She remembered my name? I nodded.

"I don't ever see you on school grounds during lunch time," She paused. "Where do you usually sit?"

"Why are you so interested?" I asked abruptly.

She seemed taken aback, but she persevered. "I think everyone deserve to have a friend."

I quirked about eyebrow, "You want to be friends?"

She nodded weakly, "You make it sound stupid."

"I don't usually have friends."

"Yeah you did. You just closed yourself off." She stated as a matter of factly.

I stood up straight, finally looking at her. "What can I help you with, Amy?"

"I'm throwing a party tonight. You should come." She grinned.

A party? Seriously. What'd I look like? Miss Popular? 

"No thanks."

Her smile fell, "Why not? It'll be fun, there'll be food and drinks."

"Parties aren't my thing." I simply stated as the whistle blew and the game ended.

I was relieved I'd made it through the whole period without ever having to touch the ball.

Amy spoke again, but it was distant as I walked off the court.