fix me | joshler

I

josh didn't even want to be at this party. he never liked the smell of alcohol or weed.

his boyfriend, brendon, dragged him here. he didn't like the noise. he didn't like all the flashing lights.

kids dancing on top of tables, horrible karaoke ringing through the air.

he sat alone, two girls making out right beside him. he tried to scoot away a little bit, really wanting to go home.

josh hurried away, opting to go upstairs. there had to be a bathroom somewhere. someplace where he could throw up or cry. the hallway was dark, only some littered glow sticks illuminating the path.

josh opened a random door, seeing a guy and girl really going at it. "jesus christ! can't you fuck anywhere else?!" he was on his wit's end.

suddenly he was met with a face that was oh so familiar. brendon's.

it happens in slow motion. you can feel someone take a hammer and smash it through your ribcage and straight into your heart, watching it shatter to pieces. the only thing you can do is run.

"y-you.."

brendon scrambled up, "babe, it's not what it looks like."

josh shook his head as he backed up, "i cannot believe you.."

the obviously intoxicated girl rolled over, throwing up.

brendon didn't pay attention to her, "let me just get some clothes on and we'll talk about this."

josh was enraged, "talk?! you want to talk about this?!"

brendon pulled on his boxers and pants quickly, "no, i mean like--"

before he could finish josh was already rushing away.

"babe, wait!"

"shut the hell up!" he yelled, quickly getting past people, some cursing at him.

brendon hurried down the stairs, following josh outside, "wait!" he took josh's hand, pulling him back.

josh struggled, trying to get loose from brendon's grip, "let go!" he screamed, he felt dizzy and couldn't see straight as tears clouded his vision.

brendon finally let go, defeat.

josh quickly picked up his sprint again, getting as far away as he could. the only place he could think of immediately was the park.