I walked from my place to Matty's, Levi was staying for the next few days and was going back a day or two early to sort things with George, who had dropped me off about an hour ago, gud I took a quick power nap and showered before going to Matty's. I was slow to walk to the familiar house, the same words playing over in my head.What made him think that? Matty and I had been friends for years, almost as long as me and George had been. We shared memories that I wouldn't want to talk about and others I'd happily babble on about. Of course I loved him. As I opened the door, the smell of weed echoed around the house and I instantly got angry. I stormed up stairs and threw his door open, he sat on his bed with a bottle of wine in hand and a blunt in the other, just staring at it.
"Matty, fucks sake. You asked me to talk and when I agree, you get drunk and high!" I yelled and he put out the blunt and dropped the bottle of red wine on his carpet.
"Jupiter I-" He said but I didn't stop, I just yelled more.
"Why would you say that I didn't love you Matty, we've been friends for years! Do you know how shit it is to hear you say that! I was here for you through everything, things you can't even remember cause you were so out of it!" I screamed and he finally let go.
"You don't love me, do you not get or Jupiter. I love you!" He yelled and my body softened, the tears in his eyes catching me off guard along with his words. "I love you so much I can't breathe, the drugs are too stop me from thinking about you, but they just make me think more about you. Like the way you're hair falls over you're face when you laugh, or the way you're eyes light up when you see George, the way you pout you're lips when you want something, the way you talk to Ross to freely, the way you joke around with Adam when he's down, the way you take care of me. The way you do anything, even the way you walk I love. I love everything about you. But you don't love me." He whispered the last part, falling back on his bed. His head in his hands.
"Matty." I whispered, he didn't say anything but instead his body shook. I sat next to him, not doing anything but letting him know I was there.
"Remember that night about a year ago when I walked into you're room and you were on the floor, I thought you were dead. You had snorted a line of coke and drank a whole bottle of whiskey. I didn't know what to do, so I called an ambulance. I sat in the corner till they came. I kept saying you're name, over and over again. I couldn't stop. We all rushed to the hospital all 4 of us, Levi, Ross, Adam, George and I. I wasn't fucking ready to bury my best friend, I blanked out from then till you woke up, I didn't shower, eat or even talk. I sat in the hospital till the night you woke up, it had been 3 days. Everyone was home but Ross was on his way home, a doctor approached me with both a worried look but also sad look. I readied myself for the worst." I wiped my eyes, Matty was listening, his head still in his hands. "He told me you'd woke up, I was basically in the room within 3 seconds. You're eyes were shut but you were awake and didn't know I was in the room. I was crying as I looked at you, you're hair was messy, matted and gross looking you're skin was pale, so pale you'd think you were dead, you're body was shivering and you're hands were non stop shaking. You looked so broken. I loved you since the day you stumbled into my life, you're messy hair and big brown chocolaty eyes staring me down. But what day something in me turned, I was heart broken, you could have died. I love you so much Matty, but that one day scared the hell out of me. I was sure you were dead." I said and he looked up at me. He didn't say anything, he stood from his bed and held his hand out for me. I took it and stood in front of him. He placed his hands on each side of my face. His eyes studying my face, before he cracked his lips onto my own. My body exploded with emotion, my heart was beating so fast I thought it would fly out of my chest.
