Regret Me Not | 김석진

Thirty Two*

*alternate ending

Jin woke with a terrible fit of guilt in his stomach. It stabbed at his nerves, jolting him up. The feeling possessed him to grab his phone and call Victoria. He loved her so much.

He couldn't let her go again.

His eyes were still adjusting while he scrolled through his contacts. He stopped where he knew it was, but then waited for his vision to focus.

"Where..."

The name didn't pop up like it usually did. He scrolled a bit in each direction to see if he had missed it. No—it definitely wasn't there.

He wondered if she'd had the time to delete it before she left. The thought was fleeting, though, as he hopped out of bed and slipped a shirt on as well as some pants. His hair was messy but it was the last thing he cared about as he trotted down the stairs, having already dialed Namjoon.

"Yeah?" he answered.

"Namjoon." Jin grabbed his car keys and walked out, not bothering to lock the door or pick up the vase of lilies that were still knocked over. "Do you know where Victoria is?"

The line was silent for a moment. "Victoria?"

"Yeah. We got in a fight last night...I just need to talk to her."

"What are you talking about?" the younger asked, his confusion clear. "Who are you talking about?"

He started his car, frustration hitting him. "Seriously, Namjoon, stop drinking!"

"Hyung, calm down. I'm at the pool with Hoseok. Come chill with us."

Jin hung up before he realized what Namjoon had just said. "Why is he with Hoseok..." Nevertheless, he shifted his gears and sped off to the pool. They hadn't been there in so long.

The drive was quick and dangerous, ending with him parking crooked in the SNU parking lot. He sprinted up the trails that led to the pool, heaving by the time he got there.

Namjoon and Hoseok were sitting in the center on a few worn crates. The former was smoking, as always. Hoseok lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he beckoned Jin to them.

"Hey," he said and pulled another crate from next to the old mattress.

Jin jumped down into the bowl—but he didn't sit. "Hey. It's been a while, Hobi."

Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows. "We saw each other yesterday."

"What?"

"And I need to stop drinking," Namjoon chuckled.

Jin turned his attention back to Hoseok. "I haven't seen you since Jungkook's car accident."

"Who's Jungkook?"

The oldest stared at the both of them in shock. If this was a prank, it wasn't funny. "Seriously, this isn't funny."

"I'm being serious," Hoseok insisted. "I don't know a Jungkook."

Namjoon blew out. "And I know a Victoria, but I'm positive she hasn't met any of you."

"What are..." Jin started, but he couldn't finish his sentence. He felt like he was going crazy. How was it that they didn't remember meeting her? Or Jungkook? What about the others? Iseul? So many questions rang through his head. They had to be fucking with him. "Okay, whatever," he muttered. "Where's Jimin?"

Their expressions darkened at the name. "Hyung, seriously, are you okay?" Namjoon asked.

"Oh, God. Don't tell me Jimin's dead, too?"

"Too?" Hoseok raised an eyebrow. "Who's dead?"

"Yoongi."

"Who's Yoongi?"

"Aish!" Jin's hands flew up to his head to clutch it. How could they lie so easily? There was only one person left he could go to. "I gotta go."

They called after him as he left, but there was no point. Jin walked quickly down the trail, still too tired to run again. Once in the car, his hand seemed to have a mind of its own as it opened the glove compartment and pulled out the much hated polaroid of him and Yoongi. But there was something very wrong with it that wiped Jin's face blank.

Yoongi wasn't in it.

Then it hit him.

I wish we'd never met.

If he'd never met Victoria, he never would have met Yoongi, who was in her piano class in high school. Yoongi was the one who introduced Jin to Jungkook, and Jin was the one that brought them into the group.

None of them had ever met Victoria beside Namjoon, so by extension they didn't know Yoongi or Jungkook either.

Jin sat back in his carseat, complete shock taking over him. There was no way it was possible. No way. Even if it was, how could he possibly have warranted that outcome just by willing it even for a second?

The last person he could ask—he could answer it.

Jin sped off in the direction of his apartment. He parked clumsily on the street and rushed to the door. He knocked hard and loud.

Sungyoon answered the door, seeming a bit alarmed. "Jin? What are you doing here?"

"Do you know where Victoria is?" he asked between breaths, heaving just from the sheer anticipation.

The older furrowed his eyebrows. "Who's Victoria?"

Jin only stared back at him in dismay. Now he knew. It was real.

He stumbled backward a bit and back to his car without another word. Sungyoon called after him, but he ignored it just like he ignored Namjoon and Hoseok.

How could he wrap his mind around such a concept? Had he somehow changed the past? It sent a chill through him.

Now he knew why he felt that foreboding all those years ago.

One question still lingered in his mind.

If he had never met Victoria, and she didn't work with him...

Then where was she?