cruel ; zayn

trois

Harry pushed the door all the way up and led Egypt and Juju inside. I stood in the same spot, pretty much entranced.

Zayn cleared his throat and stepped aside.

"Uh, come i-in." He opened the door wider as if I was the size of a sumo wrestler. "I'm, um. Um I-I'm.."

"Your Zayn, I know." I chuckled. He blushed. I don't know where I found my voice, but in the moment, I was glad I did because if I stared any longer, I'm almost sure he would've called security. "I'm Masika. Everyone calls me Maz."

He nods, still blushing and leads the way to a couch, inviting me to sit near him. I left a lot of space between us. Zayn frowned.

"I don't bite, you know." He chuckled. He than picked up a baggie with a roach and two blunts in it and retrieved the roach. "You blow?"

"She ain't never done a bad thing in her life, Zayn." Egypt interrupted from the other side of the room. She sat literally on top of Harry on the couch opposite of us, while Ju was on the stool adjacent to the makeup table.

"That's not true, Egypt. Remember when we went to that party in high school? Homegirl got sooo wasted we had to carry her back to the house."

"False, Ju. Maz fell asleep on the couch because she didn't wanna do all the stuff we were doing and got bored. Act like I don't know my cousin or sum'." Egypt rolled her eyes and scooted off of Harry.

"Okay, both of you are wrong. I have smoked plenty of times in the comfort of my own home. But go off, I guess." I took the roach out of Zayn's hand and took a hit, praying I didn't get a random coughing fit and look dumb in front of Zayn freaking Malik. Fortunately, I didn't and I handed it back to him, flipping my hair over my shoulder as if i was metaphorically sticking my tongue out and saying, in your fucking faces. But I'm grown, so I settled for the modest and humble ol' hair flip.

Egypt stuck her tongue out at me, because she's a child, and pulled out her phone. Harry took it from her and took a couple selfies and then reached over and planted a kiss on her cheek while snapping a picture. She giggled, aww.

"You act like Vic don't sell chow, highkey." Juhi said to Egypt. (A/N: I don't know if anyone reading uses the word chow, I've been told it's pretty local to where I'm from... but it means weed if you didn't catch that)

"Oh, yeaaaah. I forgot."

And they say I'm the absent-minded one. Tuh, okay.

"Vic's a friend of yours?" Zayn asked, lighting a new blunt and taking a hit. There was something in his voice that got me. Like . . . hope?

"I- no. I mean- not really. I don't know, right now. It's kind of complicated." I looked down, rubbing my arm. Honestly, Vic makes me look so dumb and I'm embarrassed to claim him, but it would be dishonest to say anything else.

"Not that complicated," Egypt scoffed under her breath. Ju threw a hairbrush at her.

"Ouch, wHaT wAs tHaT fOr?!" She cried and picked up the brush like she was gonna throw it back. You can't take them anywhere.

"So, what? He's like a boyfriend or something." Zayn asked, ignoring them and handing me the blunt.

"I mean, yeah. I'm just not sure I want him to be anymore." I looked everywhere but at him. That was the first time I was admitting it out loud. Vic has done so much for me and when we met, he was my everything. He let me move in when I had nowhere else to go. He's bought me clothes and food and helped me find a job. But lately he's been making me feel, and just flat out telling me that I'm not enough. Why would you make feel special and then just suddenly stop? What could've changed? And if I'm not enough for him, why does he make it seem like he's not going to let me go easily?

I realized I had let a couple tears slip and quickly reached up. But Zayn' hands stopped me. He reached out instead and wiped em for me.

"Jeez, what's the meaning of all this?" Harry stood near the couch reaching out for the blunt in Zayn's other hand. "I thought I told you last time to get to know a girl before you make her cry."

We both chuckled and Zayn apologized.

"I didn't mean to hit a soft spot." He whispered to me, nudging me with his arm.

After smoking a little too much, and drinking a little more, we were having a good time. Unfortunately, my phone rang and I remembered my reality. It was late. I was late.

"Welp, better go before he rings my bell again." I stood up, not really realizing what I had said. It was such a simple statement, but a sober me would have never let that much slip. I went to collect my things, when Juhi snatched my jacket out my hand.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She raised her right brow at me, and crossed her arms.

"What's what supposed to mean?" Too high to realize the situation at hand, I reached for my jacket. She snatched it away again and grabbed me by my chin. "Ju, what the fu-,"

"Oh, I'm gonna kill him. Masika, I swear to god I'm going to kill him. I'm gonna kill him like I can't go to prison. I'm gonna kill him so good-,"

"Relax, what are you going on about?" Egypt stood up, a little bit dazed. But when she had laid eyes on the bruises that Juhi had noticed, the ones that were always there but didn't quite become clear until I said what I said, she sobered up real quick. "Oh, I'm gonna kill him."

"Ladies, what's all this?" Harry probed, trying to tame the two angry girls standing in front of me.

"They're gonna kill him," I sobbed. I had become so upset, suddenly. I knew there was no way that I could defend this, and I was too high to even want to defend it. There really was no real reason for him to put his hands on me.

"Who?"

"Vic, theyre gonna- gonna kill, Vic. Cause h-he rung my bells. Now, Nanu and Juhi are gonna ring his bells really hard and TRINIDAD will be sad because she can't play with his bells anymore."I cried, and then giggled. If I went home this inebriated, it would become very evident to Vic that I wasn't at a dinner party with Juhi's parents. "It was a pleasure, my pleasure, meeting all of you Zayns and you Harries. I enjoyed myself. Thanks for a good time, and if ever wanna do this again you know who to call."

I laughed, knowing this was a shit show. If i was in my right mind I would have been humiliated, and probably a little more upset that I was missing another once in a lifetime opportunity due to Victor. I made my way toward the door, slightly stumbling and grabbing on to the door frame. I bent over and removed my heels, before trying to regain my balance and collect myself. I could be drunk, a little high, even, but definitely not embarrassing. This nights done me enough favors.

Juhi and Nanu collectively decided, without any input from me at all, that I would be staying with Ju for the night. I figured that was fair, it gave me enough to time to figure out what I was going to do in the morning. I began to cry softly in the back seat of the Uber. My life was not everything I hoped it would be. This night did not go as planned. And this probably wasn't the way I wanted Zayn Malik to see me for the first time.

I don't know how many more nights I can spend with this man. He's ruining everything for me.

I'm falling apart.