Dedicated toooo @MrsDracoLMalfoy Thanks a bunch for the idea! I haven't updated this book since 2012! If anyone has anymore suggestions drop them in the comments section and I'll scheme with Fred later >:)
Lucy: Hello! Bonjour! Long time no see
Fred: Hi! (Waves frantically)
Lucy: Wait? You're still here? I thought —
Fred: PUH-LEASE! You really think I died in the Battle? As if! That was just a piece of fiction an author wrote up about our lives to drive the plot forward!
Lucy: So that means — DAD! (Runs off looking for Snape)
Fred: Today we're going to teach you how to make your own Sirius Black!
Sirius: (Arrives) Holla!
Fred: Great, we have our muse and now we need a model...
Step One: Find yourself a willing model
Lucy: PUT ME DOWN! I AM NOT DOING THIS! YOU'RE MY MODEL NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
Fred: (walks onto stage carrying her) ohhh how the tables have turned!
Sirius: (Sitting in deck chair eating popcorn) This is going to be Siriusly fun
STEP TWO: Teach your new model how to become an animagus
Fred: (takes out wand) Hmm I think I got this...I don't want a mate, I don't want a date, don't give me a snog; I just want a dog
Lucy: (puts on dog ears) Bark, Bark
Fred: Perfect!!
STEP THREE: Get your model three convincing friends
Fred: (pulls out book full of wizarding addresses and skims the page) Hmm I think I have just the people — (runs off and finds some parchment and sends an owl off with them)
Lucy: (looks at shoes, evidently bored)
Sirius: Ruff day, huh?
Lucy: It's a bitch
Sometime later...
Voldemort: (struts in wearing Nagini as a scarf) WHAT'S UP GURLFRAAAAND?!?!
Lucy: oh no...
Snape: I'd rather not be here either
Lucius: (Holding pink handbag and swishing hair) Has anyone seen my son? I need to remind him once again that I am a cool dad okay?!? (Whips out pink phone) Later, Narcissa, I'm busy! I'm with my besties!
Voldemort: YAAAS WE SHOULD TOTALLY GET OUR NAILS DID!!
Snape: End my suffering, Nagini, please
Nagini: You wissssshhhhhh
STEP FOUR: Give them appropriate nicknames
Voldemort: So I think I should be V Dawg, then it fits with the animagus thing
Lucius: AND I WANT TO BE LUCY — wait a minute that's taken
Snape: Lucius? More like Lucishhh, as in please stop talking
Voldemort: YAAAAAS GURL SNATCH HIM BALD!!!!
(All turn to Voldie)
Voldemort: What?
***
I highly recommend inviting Voldemort over to give you a manicure, his nail art is fantastic 10/10 would recommend.
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Harry Potter Funnies
FanfictionI have no idea what was going through my head when I made this...
