Tell Me You'll Miss Me | ✓

17. double bad

I was laughing at something David had said, even though I wasn't quite able to recall what we were talking about. He was smiling down at the ground, and when I followed his gaze I saw the grass and felt the breeze; we were by the oak tree.

David slouched back and I saw that he was leaning up against its trunk, still talking about something I couldn't understand. He looked happy, but I was paying more attention to the tree now. My hands skimmed along its bark, and I found myself circling it and sitting down on the other side.

Someone took my hand, but it wasn't David. I couldn't even hear David now. The hand was delicate, familiar. When I looked up, the sun streamed into my eyes, and I crashed back into consciousness as my alarm yanked me back into reality.

I walked past the oak tree later that day. It was always weird, seeing it in real life when I was so used to seeing it in my dreams. I realised I felt the exact same about Nora.

I'd been imagining what she would be like for so long that it was as if I'd known her longer than I had. Dad was right – what did I even know about her? For all I knew, we would've made a horrible couple. She was pretty, and she seemed nice enough, sure, but what did that add up to, really? I wanted to gamble on her because my subconscious had been telling me she was the one all along, but now it was like I'd been played by the universe. I wanted it too badly, and it didn't feel right. Not yet, not with Nora.

When lunch rolled around, I made my way to the table we usually tried to get and found Summer and David waiting for me there. I was getting date déjà vu, seeing the two of them sat side-by-side like that, and it made my nerves flare up again.

It was a given. They were definitely going to talk about our date, and I was definitely not going to want to talk about it. My brain had been nagging me about it all night, convincing me our impending talk was bound to be horrible but also that it was completely necessary. I had to come clean, even if I was only guilty of a lie by omission.

I dropped my backpack onto the table and shimmied into the seat in front of Summer, sighing heavily. "I'm beyond tired," I said, like maybe we could talk about that instead of the date.

"Up all night?" David asked, his tone and expression too innocent to be innocent.

Summer smirked, but came to my aid. "Shut up," she chided, no sting to her words. "They didn't go home together. Jess is like, an eighty-fourth date kind of girl," she teased.

I rolled my eyes. "Eighty-fifth, actually," I joked back. "I like to make sure they're really, really invested, you know?"

David chuckled, shaking his head as he took a sip from his bottled water, as if he couldn't deal with the two of us.

I raised an eyebrow at Summer, gesturing with a nod of my head at David. "And is this a permanent addition to our lunchtime hangouts?" I asked, smirking when David made a quiet noise of protest, probably at being called this.

"Yeah, I thought maybe he could stick around. We could do with someone to open jars and talk sports, right?"

David put a hand to his chest and wore his best offended expression. "Summer," he began, very seriously, "I would never watch a sport, let alone verbalize any feelings I may or may not have about said sport."

Summer patted him atop his head, as if he were her newly-adopted dog.

"He's a good boy," she grinned.

David shrugged himself away from her touch, but he was smirking when he took another sip of his water.

"And..." I tilted my head, wondering if I wanted to ask or not. "Is he a strictly platonic jar-opener, or...?"

Summer pulled an exaggerated face that I struggled to read, but David started laughing so hard he almost sprayed his mouthful of water everywhere.

Eventually Summer started laughing too, if only at how helpless and dorky David looked as he tried his desperate best to swallow his water. "Yeah, we're going out. Because he's so smooth," she teased, punching him gently in the arm.

"Please call me that. He's my jar-opener. Is there a higher honor?"

I couldn't really hide the surprise that hit my face, my eyebrows raising without my permission.

"Oh," was all I said, because I didn't know what else to say. A few options sprang to mind: That's nice. Good for you guys. You make a cute couple. But one stuck, and I couldn't stop thinking about it: That wasn't part of the plan.

Our plan really hadn't been a good one. Not at all. Like, not even a little bit. And worse than the plan itself was its outcome. Nora didn't really like me like that, but David and Summer did like each other like that? This was double bad.

And to make matters worse, Nora herself had just appeared in the archway to the cafeteria. She glanced over at our table and grinned before joining the queue for food, and my heart leapt right out of my body, running for the hills. I felt like my best option was to follow it – that's what they say, right? Follow your heart – and so I dragged my backpack off the table to sling it back over my shoulder and run the hell away.

"You know, I'm actually not super hungry. I have a cereal bar in here and I can just eat that on the go, so, um."

Summer and David both looked at me blankly.

"I'm gonna go," I explained outright, standing up and pointing at the exit, as if that was normal. "I-- yeah, I'm. Bye," I nodded, forcing a smile as I skirted away, hearing only confused and half-hearted goodbyes from behind me. I took the long way out so I didn't have to cross near the line for food and risk having to talk to Nora. This really was double bad.