remembrance. - kth

seventeen

taehyung's pov

it's monday and a smile is immediately shown on my face. the thought of seeing heeyoung brightens my mood and i get ready for school.

i walk to the school building looking for her. before i knew it, i bump into hoseok.

"oh, sorry, hoseok!" i bow and apologize.

"it's okay, what's up?" he asks.

"have you see heeyoung around?" i question.

"nope, maybe she's in her class right now, i'm not sure," he shrugs. i furrow my eyebrows.

she usually waits for me at the school entrance.

"okay, that's a bit odd. thanks though, hoseok!" i wave and head to my first class. i have to wait for geometry to come, which is my second period and see if heeyoung is here. however, i start to frown, walking down the hall feeling guilty.

is heeyoung mad at me? did i do something wrong? is that why she didn't wait for me this morning?

-----

it's finally geometry class and i rush to the room. i sit in my seat eagerly, waiting for heeyoung to come in.

several minutes pass by and i start to get impatient.

i notice tomiko in her seat, so i decide to ask,

"hey, do you know if heeyoung is here today?"

"she wasn't in my class for first period," she replies.

"wait, so she's not here at all?" i clarify.

"i guess. maybe she's not feeling well or something."

my whole world stops.

she was just feeling fine two days ago, what happened?

is it her family again? her "personal life?"

is that why she was acting a bit closed off during our picnic?

i begin to bounce my leg and tap my fingers on the desk, getting nervous from all the assumptions made in my head.

"mr. daeshim, may i be excused? i don't feel well right now," i raise my hand.

"yeah, go ahead, mr. kim," he says without looking at me. i get up, grab my backpack, and exit the classroom.

where would she be, where would she be...

as i try to figure out where she would be right now, something clicks.

"it's my favorite place."

is she at the field?

i start to sprint, hoping to find her there.

i hope she's okay.

i run up the hill and there is no one to be found. i go up to the tree and notice a boulder on top of a piece of paper.

a note.

~~~

dear taehyung,

this is heeyoung. if you have found this, you've probably caught on already. but, i'm planning to leave... this world, permanently.

i'm sorry. i just can't handle everything anymore and i know how much you try and it means a lot to me. so, thank you for taking care of me, being there for me, and showing so much kindness and love.

i'm sorry for keeping secrets.

i'm sorry for leaving you.

i love you, taehyung.

goodbye.

much love,

heeyoung

~~~

i feel my heart shatter into a million pieces.

i didn't even have the chance to say i love you back.