Elizabeth Gallagher - Shameless US

Monster

Middle school. 🤮

My first day of the sixth grade started out just like any other. I was eating breakfast in the kitchen, trying to pretend the screaming banshee that was my half-sister didn't exist and that I wasn't going to be face with the ultimate decision today; the Phillips twins or Teagan and Artie?

"Carl! Chuckie! Get your asses down here or I'm giving your pancakes to the next homeless guy I see!" Sammi yelled up the stairs. 

Debbie glanced at the bag of flour on the bench. "You stole that from the homeless shelter, so. . .full circle."

"I earned it fair and square. Told them I'm raising eight kids on my own," Sammi replied, vigorously whisking the pancake mixture.

I was sick of Sammi acting like Fiona. Making a curfew, calling our house 'her house', it pissed me off. No one could replace Fiona, ever.

"Except only one is yours and three don't even live here anymore," I said to shut her up.

The kitchen door opened and Teagan stormed through, holding two coffees and a bottle of vodka sticking out of her jeans. "Mornin' fuckers," She grabbed a pancake off the plate.

"Language!" Sammi objected. 

"Fuck off, Sammi," Teagan answered, her mouth full of pancake.

Teagan handed me the vodka and I walked over to the sink with the coffees.

I heard Debbie on the phone, "Yes, hi, I'm calling about Ian Gallagher? Yeah, he was admitted last night. What are your visiting hours?"

I spun around to face her. "Ask them how old you have to be."

"Two to three, okay, how old do you have to be to visit?"

I poured out half of the coffee in each cup into the sink and topped them off with vodka.

"Hey hey hey!" Sammi snatched the bottle out of my hands. "No vodka 'til you're thirteen! You want to start, start on beer."

I rolled my eyes and put the lid on the cups, handing one to Teagan.

Debbie hung up the phone and looked st me sadly. "No minors."

"What counts as a minor?"

"Under sixteen."

"Fuck," I sighed, sitting down.

"Hey, gimme a shirt skirt, some lipstick and a cigarette and I can pass for sixteen," Teagan swallowed half her coffee in one mouthful. "I can sneak you in."

"Thanks, But If we're gonna do it we gotta do it legally," I replied.

"Eeeeaasy, Liam." Sammi took the bottle of maple syrup out of zliam's hands just as he was about to flood the plate. "Chubby cheeks are cute only for so long on black men."

I glared at her.

Teagan snorted, "Jeez, Lady, you're one to talk. Is that your son or Susan Boyle?"

"You little shit," Sammi snarled back at her.

With perfect timing, Carl came down the stairs saying, "Chuckie turned on the chocolate faucet upstairs in the bathroom."

Debbie, Teagan and I exchanged a glance and began giggling uncontrollably. 

"Uh oh. I know what this is about," Sammi said,

"What, the six churros he ate last night?" Carl snapped.

"No, he's nervous to start at a new school. It's his fourth one. He gets beat up. A lot," Sami said wth way too much sympathy.