Shits & Giggles

Prologue

Five years old

"What are you doing?"

Alexander looked up, facing a small group of boys.

"Nothing." He replied. "Why?"

"Because you look bored as hell." A boy with light chocolate brown hair pointed out.

"Don't say that word, Jonah." A boy with pale blonde hair chided. "It's a bad word."

"You're a bad word, Travis." Jonah shot back.

"That doesn't even make any sense." Travis rolled his eyes.

"You're both stupid." The first boy sighed. "I'm Ethan and if you couldn't tell this is Jonah and Travis."

"Hi." Alex gave a small wave to Ethan, who had sandy blonde hair.

"Do you want to play a game of tag with us?" Ethan questioned. "It's fine if you don't want to, you just look really bored sitting on your own."

Alexander glanced at Jonah and Travis, then back at Ethan. He nodded quickly before they changed their minds like most of the other kids did.

"Awesome." Jonah piped up.

Travis reached out a hand to help Alexander off the ground.

"What's your name?" Travis asked.

"Alexander," Alex replied. "But I don't mind if you call me Alex."

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Twelve years old

"It's going to be okay, Alex." Ethan murmured, putting his arm around Alex's shoulders and pulling him closer. "You're going to be okay."

"What if I'm not?" Alexander tightened his grip on the necklace in his hand. "What if I'm never going to be okay again?"

"You've got us." Jonah piped up. "And you're Mum and sister."

"You've got our families too," Travis added, quietly.

"It's not the same." Alex whimpered. "They're not my Dad."

The rain continued to pour from the sky as Alexander let a few tears spill down his cheeks. He didn't understand why his Dad had left them so suddenly. He was a good man, loved his wife and kids with every fibre of his being, defended and fought for his country. He didn't deserve to die fighting a war he didn't start, leaving his wife and children behind, with nothing but a flag and a set of dog tags. Dog tags Alexander would never part with for the rest of his life.

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Fifteen years old

"Please tell me that that bag didn't just bark," Jonah asked quietly.

"It barked," Travis said, deadpan.

"I told you not to tell me it did!" Jonah exclaimed.

"That would be lying," Travis smirked. "And I hate lying to my bestest friend."

"Shut up, both of you" Alexander hissed.

Jonah and Travis fell silent, opting to gently slap each other in retaliation so they didn't make any noise. Alex rolled his eyes at them and reached into the shallow creek, pulling out the soaked black duffle bag. The bag began to wriggle and squirm while Alex tried to undo the zipper, which had been closed shut with cable ties.

"Do any of you have a knife?" Alex questioned.

"I might have one." Ethan supplied, dropping his backpack to the ground to search for it.

He quickly pulled a pocket knife from the bottom of his bag and tossed it to Alex, who caught it with ease. Alex flicked the knife open and sliced the cable ties, sliding them out and away from the zipper. He hastily opened the bag and pulled out a puppy who was soaked to the bone.

"Jonah give me your towel," Alex demanded. "She's cold."

Jonah didn't hesitate before throwing the towel to Alex who wrapped the shivering pup in the towel.

"What is she?" Jonah questioned.

"I have a better question." Ethan chimed in. "Why would someone dump her in the creek?"

"She's an Australian Shepherd," Travis informed. "They're really good working dogs, easy to train, loyal as hell, and generally very sweet in nature. I can't think of any reason regarding the dog's behaviour as to why someone would dump her like that."

"Talk nerdy to me." Jonah 'seductively' whispered.

"You're despicable." Travis groaned.

"I like it when you use big words that I don't understand." Jonah continued to joke.

"Moving on." Ethan interrupted. "What are we gonna do about the puppy? I can't take her home, my brother's allergic."

"My grandma hates them." Jonah shrugged. "Says they bark too much."

"My building doesn't allow pets." Travis supplied. "Plus we don't have a backyard."

Alexander looked at his friends and then back at the shivering towel he had cradled in his arms. She looked up at him with big sky blue eyes and gave a small whimper. And that was all it took. Alex was puppy-whipped.

"I'll take her home." He sighed, pretending like he wasn't completely in love with those big puppy eyes.

A few days later

"So, your mum's letting you keep the dog?" Jonah asked.

"She wasn't sure at first. Kept saying maybe." Alex's face broke into a grin. "But she took one look at that sweet little puppy face and caved."

"Have you picked out a name yet?" Ethan asked, shoving a handful of fries into his mouth.

"I was thinking of calling her Maeby," Alex said quietly. "Because of how many times Mum said maybe. I'd be switching the e and y around though."

The table was silent for a moment before Travis spoke up. "This reminds me of the time Jonah got a pet rock and named it Dorothy the Rockosaur."

"Okay first off, I was six and had limited training in the art of name giving." Jonah defended. "Secondly, I think Maeby is a cool name because she is an odd-looking dog with an oddly spelt name!"

"At least we can spell her name." Alex grinned. "Travis is the smartest kid in our grade and he can't even spell your last name. Most of the people here can't even pronounce it correctly."

"It's the easiest thing in the world to spell!" Jonah yelled. "I don't even understand how someone could get it wrong! I swear you all just mess it up to fuck with me! Even some of the teachers are in on it! You're all just a bunch of–"

Alex, Ethan and Travis just laughed as Jonah continued on with his rant. Travis turned to Alex and smiled.

"I really do like the name, Alex," Travis said. "It's unique and different. Plus it has meaning behind it."

"Which is?" Jonah stopped mid-rant to ask.

"His Mum is incredibly indecisive but also a bit of a pushover when it comes to cute baby anything," Travis replied.

"There has to be a limit to that though," Ethan argued. "Like baby snakes, spiders and cats."

"I've seen my Mum turn into a big puddle of mush over literally anything under the age of two." Alex laughed.

"And let's not forget the time at the zoo when she absolutely lost it over a baby alligator." Travis pointed out.

Jonah was silent for a moment as his face went blank and then screwed up in disgust. "Your mother is a fucking freak."

The table erupted in laughter.

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