falling snow | ☾ k.h & m.k ☽

• 03

[KYUNGHOON'S POV]

Don't be nervous.
Don't be nervous.
Don't be nervous.

I kept muttering to myself while holding my cellphone with trembling hands. I decided to call Heechul-hyung and ask him out for dinner but my heart feels like it's about to burst when I try to tap the call button. I'm so confident just a while ago but I guess Min Kyunghoon will still be Min Kyunghoon, a coward.

After staring at my phone for an hour, a text message from Janghoon-hyung suddenly arrived. I was so shocked I nearly threw my off but thank goodness, I didn't.

Janghoon-hyung
Ya! Min Kyunghoon! You told me
you would invite Heechul tonight
but you didn't!

Kyunghoonie
Eh? How did you know, hyung?

Janghoon-hyung
Of course, I would know!
I'm in a restaurant with Su-geun
and I saw Heechul eating with
some of his members!

"Ah, I lost my chance."

I couldn't do anything but to sigh. I finally decided to confess but I'm a scaredy-cat so I lost my chance and now, I'm stuck again with this kind of pain and worry on how to convey my feeling for Heechul-hyung.

Why can't I just confess? Why can't it just go smoothly without going through any kind of obstacle? Why can't it ju—

(*message tone*)

Janghoon-hyung
Kyunghoon-ah, it's your chance!
They finally finished eating and
Heechul doesn't look like he has
any schedule after this. You should
call him now, 빨리 (hurry)!

I immediately dialed Heechul's number and this time, my hands didn't hesitate to tap the call button. The phone rang for a few second and the line finally got connected.

"Kyunghoonie?! Ya, how are you?! Gwaenchanha (Are you okay)?! I heard you were really sick!" said Heechul, concern clearly showing on his voice. I couldn't help but smile.

"O-Oh, hyung! I'm okay, don't worry."

My voice is still trembling. I bet Hyung sensed it, too, but he decided not to dig it up anymore and asked me instead, "Why did you call me, by the way? Is there anything wrong?"

"Ah, no no. I just wanna ask if y-you're free tonight? I want to invite you for dinner, y-you know, maybe on– uhm– a restaurant or anywhere."

"I'm free. I don't have anything to do so I think I can make it. Where do you want to have dinner? I know a really good place near the studio. Do you want to try it?"

"O-Okay! I'm okay with it! I'll meet you at the studio, then."

"Okay~ Annyeong (bye)~"

"Hmm~ bye~"

Yes! Yes! Finally! Thank goodness! Yes!

I immediately prepared myself after that but the smile on my face seems to be permanent~

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

"Kyunghoonie!"

Heechul-hyung started walking towards me while waving his hands. He's on his casual red clothed and usual hat with a '김희님' written on it. His lips are red, which is the natural color of it, and overall, he looks like the casual Heechul. But there's really something about him that is extraordinary. Something that is unusual in a good way. He looks so fashionable in every clothing and he looks heavenly no matter what he do with his appearance. I just chuckled when I realized something. Something that really washed away all of my worries and fears.

"Did I make you wait, Kyunghoonie? How long have you been here? Are you not sick anymore?" He asked while carelessly examining my body and face.

"Hyung, I told you I'm okay. I wouldn't invite you if I'm not okay, right? You know I'd rather stay home most of the time." I said, still having the sincere smile on my face.

"Oh, right! Why did you call me?"

"I have something to say, hyung. But let's go to the restaurant first. I'm starving."

"Why? Are you not eating properly? Ya, you look skinny!"

"I don't!"

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

"It's been a long time since I went outside at night. It feels refreshing," I said while looking at the glass wall of the restaurant we're in. The lights from cars and other vehicles are making the scene look cinematic. The passerby's were all smiling and laughing. Children are holding onto their toys and jumping out of joy. Couples are walking hand in hand with each other. Some are holding each other's back. It feels like something out of a movie. Together with Heechul-hyung while watching a melancholic scene outside. It feels like I don't want this moment to end.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Hyung asked as he also turned to look at the scenery outside. He also started to watch them with a smile on his face. But this time, I turned to him. I watched him repeat the cycle of stuffing food on his face, drinking water, and smiling on what he sees outside. It was probably boring for other people but I think I just want to stare at him like this. Without worrying about what will happen next or if we'll still be friends tomorrow. I just want to stay like this.

"Hyung," I finally muttered.

"Hm? What?" asked Heechul while still smiling and looking outside. He was slightly dancing to the rhythm of the music inside the restaurant. I just chuckled and finally said the words I want to say.

"I love you."

I wasn't nervous nor worried. This time, I'm not trembling. My heart is beating fast but I'm calm. I can finally say I'm not scared.

"Of course, I love you, too! You're like my brother!"

His mouth was stuffed with food but he carefully spoke so none of it will splatter. There were no hint of awareness on his eyes. So I started explaining for him to be aware.

"It's not that kind of love, hyung. I love you. And I mean, romantically. Not as a hyung but as a man. I don't know if I'm really gay because you're the first man I've ever loved but I'm sure I love you more than a friend or a brother. I'm sorry if it's troublesome for you. I love you."

We just paused for a while and nobody said a single word. He gulped all of his water and asked the waitress for refill. After a few seconds, he took a deep breath and stared at me.

"Kyunghoonie, I'm sorry but I don't see you that way."

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that's it for chapter 3 yay!
please support me until the end ㅠㅠ what will happen now?! how will kyunghoon react?! will he be able to take the pain?! what will happen to their friendship?! let me know you thoughts and suggestions on the comment box so that i will know what i'll do next or what i'll change!
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