The Swim Back [Gattaca]

Prologue

Eugene was five years old and his parents were disappointed in him. He didn't understand why, but he knew it to be true. He could tell when his huge grin of pride wasn't returned as he stood on the podium. He didn't understand. He had won fourth place in the national spelling bee, better than nearly anyone his age in the country. Why did they look so ashamed when he skipped down, holding his ribbon in his tiny fists? Eugene thought that he had done so well, he'd tried so hard, but his parents threw the ribbon in the trash as they walked out. His mother didn't hold his hand as they exited the building, his father didn't look at him, they didn't congratulate him. He sat in the backseat of the car as his parents drove in silence, not saying a word to him. He watched as they whispered among themselves, asking each other what went wrong, asking how this could have happened. Eugene wanted to curl up and disappear as he stared out of the window, watching the buildings blur together as their car sped past. He was five years old and he was disappointed in himself.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vincent loved Titan. He loved everything about being there, about exploring and his work. It was everything that he had ever dreamed of and more, so much more. It was incredible and fascinating and he was still so afraid that he would wake up and it all would have been an amazing, beautiful dream and that he'd be back to cleaning the glass as he watched the ships take off from a distance. It all just seemed so impossible. Yet, he was certain that it was real. He couldn't have imagined a scenario in which he finally proved himself to his brother, or maybe he could, but there would always be that doubt. He couldn't have created someone like Irene or like Eugene, of that he was certain. Eugene was far too complex, too thought-provoking, Vincent still had too many questions about him for him to just be a figment of his imagination.

Vincent found himself thinking about Eugene a lot lately ever since he'd left. He found himself wondering where he was traveling to, if he was finally meeting new people and getting out, if he was okay. Vincent hoped that he was at least doing alright and that he wasn't alone. He was strangely worried about the man, unable to shake a feeling that something could so easily happen to him. He couldn't wait to see him again.

As a matter of fact, Vincent caught himself thinking about Eugene far more than Irene. Whenever Irene flickered through his thoughts, it was a fleeting thing and brought forward emotions of regret and shame. After leaving her, it didn't take long for him to recognize that he didn't love her, that he never had. He didn't believe that she truly loved him either, it was hardly a romance, what the two of them shared was an intellectual bond born of excitement and fascination of one another. Vincent had never been in love, but he knew that what he felt for Irene wasn't it.

Love was supposed to infect every fiber of your being, it was supposed to fill your every thought, never leaving your head or your heart. Vincent found it all too easy to forget about Irene, which proved that he did not love her. It took him several months into his mission to realize that while Irene filled him with no emotions associated with love, there was someone who did. There was someone who never left his thoughts, who he was always worrying about, who he couldn't wait to see again. Vincent could never quite force Eugene out of his thoughts and it hit him like a ton of bricks when he realized why that could be. Vincent had never intended to fall in love with anyone and especially not with the man whose name he had stolen and yet, the more he considered it, the more he knew it to be true.

Vincent Anton Freeman was in love with Jerome Eugene Morrow and it took him leaving the planet to realize it. Once it was realized, he couldn't stop thinking of it. He wondered if Eugene could possibly have felt the same way, if there was even the chance of his feelings being returned. Vincent believed that in his life, anything could be possible; after all, he had achieved the impossible himself. As the months pulled on and on, Vincent found himself looking forward to his return to Earth, to Eugene. He decided that he would tell him everything upon their reunion. As the date grew closer, Vincent couldn't wait to see his friend again.