r e c o l l e c t i o n

Chapter 2-"Sure."

Quickly and in one swift motion, I jerk my hand away, almost accidentally hitting her in the process.
You, I want to say. You're what happened. It isn't my fault I'm being forgotten huh?

I stop.

I stop and think for a second in which time seems frozen for much more than the short reality in which it is.
Could it be my fault that I'm being forgotten? Maybe it is me. Maybe I'm boring. Maybe I'm rude. Maybe I'm annoying. Maybe I'm tiring. Maybe I'm needy.

Maybe I'm worthless.

But what if I'm worthless to her?

If I was created with the soul intent of making her happy and her alone, and even she can't stand me, than I really don't deserve a place in this world, her world...do I?

I feel a light tap on my hand-the visible one- and am ever so slightly snapped back to reality. She's just kinda...staring at me.

How awkward.

I'd really rather we just forget this and move on for my own sake. But I have a feeling that with Nylah that may not be the way it goes. Nylah's way will never be my path of choice, put her path still gets you there. And I guess sometimes it's the destination you have to focus on.
For a while, we just say nothing. It's silent. Pretty damn silent considering I'm sitting next to the girl who talks faster than she thinks.
I realize I've been clutching the streamers in my hand pretty tightly, and I slowly release them from my grip in hopes that they won't tear. I step off the small, slightly treacherous box I was using as a stepping stool to migrate towards her bed. I sit on the edge, and the soft creaking sound the bed makes a eerie echo through the normally upbeat room. This. Is. So. Awkward.
"You really don't think you can tell me anything?" I turn my head towards Nylah, who I really don't feel like facing at this exact moment in my current situation. Its not that I don't want to tell her things. It's just that I don't know how to explain them. Hey, my hand is disappearing because well wouldn't you know it, I'm dying! Haha! Well this is quite fun. I do love spending a good weekday afternoon dissipating into particles, don't you? Anyway, any new friends to slowly kill me with?
Not exactly a fun topic, huh? Oh well. I don't know how easy it would be to lie to her. She'd believe it at first, but later on she'd backtrack and I'd e in an even bigger mess when she finds out I'm lying to her.
"Hey," She says softly.  I just now realize I didn't respond before. Oh god, it looks like I'm giving her the cold shoulder. I'm not trying to, but I'm just getting lost in my own thoughts. She probably thinks I'm mad or something now.
"Can I take you for ice cream or something? I think we should just...talk." She doesn't sound mad. I can hear a bit of concern, but other than that, she's still not too easy to read. She's staring at me again though. I'm not dying to go for ice cream. Hey I mean that's saying something. I frickin' love ice cream. It's ice cream for crying out loud. But I do want to talk to her. I also want to break the silence.
The softly subdued noises of city traffic outside seem to stop, just for a moment. The whir of the ceiling fan seems to urge time forward ever so slightly, as if it too is waiting for something big to happen. But it really doesn't. I mean all I said was-

"Sure."