Chapter XIII - All Roses Wilt

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The Persians had been dismissed, with Ptolemy taking care of the Persians' requests. Now Roxana stood beside Alexander on the balcony, looking on to the city that stretched out before them. She looked in awe at the little ships in the distance, sailing over the misty waters. For miles there were many sand-coloured buildings, with black holes that represented windows or doors, and in between, little green trees dotted the land. She could see the city wall encompassing all of this, and even beyond, she could see mountains. Alexander came up behind Roxana and put his arm around her. Then he cradled his face on her shoulder.

"Tell me, when you look at this city, what do you think of?"

"I think about all the people living in it. What must they be doing right now, so early in the morning? And are they aware that we are watching over their land?" Alexander smiled, and he spun her around and kissed her softly. Then he put his forehead against hers, his golden head against her brown one. Roxana peered up at his eyes from under her thick black lashes.

"What about you?" Roxana whispered.

"When I look at this city, I am reminded that I have acquired and conquered so much land. I fear that it is not enough. I fear that one day, I may just plummet to the ground, like one of those men who did not make it up the Sogdian Rock and fell to his death. I've climbed so high, so that if I fall, the impact will be that much greater. What if I were to die, Roxana? What would happen to you, and to my empire?" Here Alexander plucked a rose from the tall, turquoise vase beside them.

"Everything that I have built, they would fall and be destroyed like the fragile petals of a rose that has been trampled on the ground by an unruly child," He said. Roxana reached up and placed a shaky hand on the commander's cheek.

"Alexander, all things have an end, even if you do not like to think so. The sun always sets, all roses wilt, and all people die." The commander look at her, and suddenly Roxana froze. His expression became dull and unseeing. But she did not dwell on that feeling for long for he hoisted her over his shoulder, earning her surprised yelp, and carried her back inside his chamber and threw her on the bed. Wide-eyed, Roxana edged back with her elbows. Alexander's expression was blank. His clear eyes and serious brows gave nothing away. He edged in closer to her, and the more he grew closer, the more she shifted back. Roxana knew better than to be fooled by his calm demeanour, so she swerved to the side when suddenly he took hold of her waist and flipped her over, making her yelp in surprise. When his warm lips fell on her neck, she could then feel his smirk. 

His muscled body pressed against hers. Roxana squirmed, but all it did was rustle the sheets; Alexander stayed on top. His hot breath fell on the side of her cheek. 

"Maybe, Roxana..." His voice rumbled against her. 

"Maybe it is all about the moment when you bask in the brilliance of twilight. Or when you're revelling in the glory of another successful conquest. Maybe I live for the moment when the rose is in full bloom, or the moment I realize that I love someone." Roxana trembled under him. 

"Yes, Alexander, maybe..." Roxana paused. She pushed around to face him, and this time Alexander let her. 

"But what happens after all of those fade away?" Asked Roxana. "What happens when you realize that your father has betrayed you with another woman, or when you realize that you are suddenly alone in the world?" 

They stared at each other's eyes.

"But you are not alone." 


***

After that day, Roxana did not see Alexander for a while. Five days had passed, and he had not shown himself to her, not even come to her chamber. She wondered when he would summon her again to his courtroom. Maybe then, she could see him. 

Presently, she was wandering beside a lucid pond along with Bahar. Roxana was just turning around to go back inside when she spotted a man dressed in a red cape, fastened with golden brooches. It was the clothing of a general. As she walked towards him, she saw that he was talking to someone else, he was also dressed in Macedonian armour as well. Roxana recognized Lysimachus to be the one who was standing, and Selecuos to be the one seated on a boulder in a shaded area under a palm tree. Quickly, Roxana approached them.

"Lysimachus." She spoke. He turned his head and looked at her, and when he saw who it was, he bowed.

"Lysimachus, how do you fare?" She asked.

"Quite fine, thank you. And you, my queen?" He responded.

"I wish I could say the same. But I am worried, for Alexander. Do you know how he had been doing these days?" She caught a flash of sympathy flit across Selecuous' eyes before he quickly masked it.

"I believe that is none of your concern," said Lysimachus. Roxana was surprised at his coldness.

"Well - Tell him to visit me or ask him so that I may see him," She said. Lysimachus turned his head away and would not reply. Roxana wanted to say something more, but she wisely decided against it. If his generals refused to help, she would take matters into her own hands.

"Good day, Lysimachus," She bid, "To you too, Selecuos." The generals each gave bows of respect before she turned around and walked away.

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