Next Life (COMPLETED)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I fucking knew it.

I stare at him wide eyed as a dozen different emotions flash in those ocean blue eyes. How did he figure it out?

"Tell me it's true. Tell me I'm not going crazy," his voice sounds pained and I would do anything to rid him of that pain... even if that means telling him the truth.

"It's me Alexander. It's me," I whisper.

He abruptly gets out of the car and I watch him as he walks around to my side and opens my door. I don't have time to think as he gently grabs my arm, pulls me out of the car, and lifts me onto the hood. He steps in between my legs and grabs my face between his hands. "My Ally?" He asks again. His voice sounds vulnerable as his eyes dart across my face to try and find any indication of a lie.

"I go by Charlotte now, but yes Alexander. I'm your Ally," I tell him gently. That's all he needed to hear before he wrapped his arms tightly around me and began sobbing into my neck. I hold him just as tightly and rub his back soothingly.

He's holding me as if I'll disappear and it breaks my heart to see how much my death affected him. He keeps mumbling "My Ally," over and over as I continue to speak calming words in his ear. I didn't see this coming; it didn't even occur to me that he'd figure it out without me telling him. I didn't even know if I was going to tell him... Seeing him like this... I feel so selfish that I thought about keeping this from him.

We stay like this for a while before he finally pulls back, "After you passed away I was broken. I was a mess, I was going crazy, and I couldn't even be a father to our daughter. I couldn't look at her. I couldn't look at her without seeing your face Ally," I don't correct him, but instead listen as my heart begins aching. "For months my parents or your grandparents would have to take care of her. I was incapable of doing anything. You took my heart with you to the grave."

Tears that I could no longer fight came rushing down my face. "Stop please stop." I can't take it. I can't hear this. It hurts too much. I grip at my head trying to get rid of the images that my mind keeps conjuring up. Ones of Alexander mourning at my grave, ones of an infant baby laying in a crib as loud sobs are heard from the next room over, ones of liquid blue eyes hardening into ice.

He pries my hands from my face and holds them to his face. I leave them there as he leans into my touch. "Please don't cry for me Charlotte. I need to tell you this." His blue eyes plead with me so I relent. "One day, months after you passed I went over to your house, your grandparents hadn't touched your room and I begged them to let me go in there. Just once I just needed to go in there. I had to. They pitied me too much to say no. I sat on your bed and sobbed for hours until I finally decided to look around. To reminisce. You had photos of us all over your room. I found a love letter you wrote to me in the eighth grade, but never gave me. Why?"

"I was scared you didn't feel the same way. I forgot I wrote it," I feel my face flush at the memory of thirteen year old Alexis pouring her heart out.

"I still have it. Along with a bunch of other stuff from your room in a box in my closet," he pauses to gauge my reaction and I can't help the small smile that appears on my lips. He stares at my lips for a moment before continuing, "What I found under your love letter was what gave me hope for the first time since you passed. It was a bunch of papers with memories scribbled down on them. How could I have forgotten? How could I forget that huge part of your life that you revealed to me? A part so important that it meant you may still be alive somewhere out there?" His eyes look distance as he recalls that day. 

"That was the day I promised myself that I'd be okay. That I'd be the best father I could be for our daughter just in case... Just in case I was lucky enough that you would return to me one day." His eyes met mine and the look of pure adoration and love I saw would've knocked me over had his hands not been holding my waist. "And you did."

"I love you Alexander. I always have and I always will," I tell him the words I know he needs to hear.

One of his hands caresses my face before gripping my neck gently and pulling me to him. His lips crash into mine and I can feel the love and longing in them as they move against mine. Every emotion I've felt lately is poured into our kiss. I tangle my hands into his hair as he pulls me closer to him with the hand on my back. Having his lips on mine makes me feel like I'm home again. Like no time has passed since our last kiss, like I'm not a new person in a new body. But at the same time it feels better than any previous kiss we've shared, it feels like more. I'm overwhelmed.

I pull away to catch my breath and Alexander leans his forehead against mine as he lets out a breathy laugh. "I love you so much My Ally."

"I don't mean to ruin the moment, but I'm Charlotte now. Or Charlie," I tell him and pull away to look into his eyes. They're still shining with love, holding a sparkle I hadn't seen in this lifetime.

He laughs wholeheartedly, making me feel lighter. "Ally, Charlie. Doesn't matter to me what your name is or what you look like. I fell in love with you for you. I waited too long to find you to care. Although you are beautiful Charlotte, I must say." His words bring me a sense of relief over something I hadn't really thought about.

"You've always known exactly what to say haven't you?" I joke and his smile widens.

"I haven't changed too much since you've been gone."

As we drive back to the dorms the atmosphere in the car is so much lighter than on the way here. It's almost as if you can feel the love in the air like some people say. Alex has had a permanent smile on his face since I confessed my love for him and it brings so much happiness to me seeing him happy.

"Did you really think you could hide it from me?" Alex asks.

"I don't really know what I was thinking. I hadn't really planned this out very well. But I definitely didn't think you'd figure it out," I answer honestly.

He holds a hand to his chest as he glances at me, "You wound me Charlotte. I knew Alexis like the back of my hand and you didn't think I'd catch any of your little slips?" I shake my head as he gasps in mock horror. "You're not as sly as you think yourself to be. I suspected it and tonight was meant to test my theory and hopefully confirm it."

"What if it hadn't been me? You do realize how weird this would have been to do to your daughter's friend had it not been me?" I question him.

"The thought occurred to me yes, but I had a lot of confidence in my suspicions. Thankfully I was right," he chuckles and I roll my eyes.

We pull up to my building and I don't want to leave. "We can't tell Luna. You know that right?"

His words throw me off guard. "Of course not now, but eventually right?"

"I don't know about that Charlotte. I don't want to tell her at all. I don't want her to get hurt or feel like I was keeping things from her. Which I was, but only to protect her and not get her hopes up." He explains, but it doesn't make sense to me.

"But I am here now, so why couldn't we explain it to her?" He sounds more like he wants to keep me a secret than my secret a secret...

"Let's discuss this another day, for now we'll keep us a secret alright?" He looks nervous as he eyes my expression, clearly seeing my discomfort. "This situation is a lot more complicated to the outside world than it is to us Charlotte you have to remember that." I get what he's saying, but it still stings a little to have him wanting to keep me from my daughter. I know he's not thinking of it like that, but it hurts nonetheless.

"Okay," I agree.

"Please don't be upset with me. I just got you back I don't want any distance between us," he pleads with me and the pain in his voice is evident.

I cup his face in my hands and stroke his cheeks making his eyes flutter close. I lean in to place a soft kiss on his lips. "I'm not going anywhere Alexander. I love you," I whisper.

His lips form into a smile against mine as he pulls back, "I love you too," he says and then adds, "My Charlie," with a wink.

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-Julia :)