The moment I've been waiting for

Chapter 4

"Again, you were amazing, Jiwon-ah".

I faked a smiled to Donghyuk, thanking him. Didn't want all my friends worrying. Hanbin had sent the video of the battle to our Line group chat, but fortunately all the bad stuff only happened backstage.

I haven't told everything to Hanbin. I repeated what the man said about the penalty, omitting the fact that I was punched. Wasn't certain of what to do, but telling Bin more of the story could do him harm. Well, after hearing me, the calm façade vanished, giving place to the already expected worried one. He had no idea about what to do, so I decided to take the responsibility all to myself. "I'll keep going", I told him. "I'll probably lose soon, no penalties or whatsoever".

Some days have passed by since then, the next battle getting closer. Still, I wasn't able to stop thinking about the last one.

It's lunch break now and I can hardly eat. The gamble stuff is worrying me a lot. Illegal races, gambling... how the fuck would I ever imagine that criminals were hiding behind a hip hop event?? Judging for the reactions in HIGH and 420, they are all well aware of the situation. About Bounce and Illionaire, I can't be certain. Even though I'm on the latter, it's not like I'm friends with anyone. I barely know their names. Besides HIGH and 420, the others face this group thing only as a way of organization.

Everyone else in Illionaire and Bounce lost to the other two. HIGH and 420 are composed of sunbaes, some old school rappers well known in the underground. Meanwhile, my group and Bounce have rookies. Strangely, Illionaire didn't face Bounce, not even once; it's like there are actually only two big groups.

Thinking better about it... something seems off. Oh! They never thought any of the rookies would make it! All the bets must be on the sunbaes, the rookies being there only to make the show more fun. I must have screwed someone big time. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

This got me so distracted I almost didn't realize my phone was buzzing.

"Hey, congrats on your win, though I expected to hear it from you and not overheard Donghyuk and Yunhyeong talking in the bathroom". Ouch. Junhoe seems hurt. Damn, why is everything going wrong way?

"June-ssi, I'm sorry. My mind is a mess right now, I can barely think straight". I already know Junhoe is not the type to dig for other secrets, so it's not like he'll put pressure on me to know all the details.

"Oh, sorry" I can tell he really means it. "We can talk another time".

"No, wait. Uh, do you want to go to the library? It's not like I can concentrate in the teacher right now, so I think... well, maybe being around all those books is more comfortable. You mind skipping a class?"

There was a silence. I was beginning to conclude he was not that type of kid, when he answered. "Meet you there in 5".

At the library, I find our almost hidden table empty. Okay, "our" may sound a little too much. But if one thinks about it, we're probably the only students sitting there. We've been coming here every school day for almost a month and I still haven't seen it occupied by anyone else. The reason must be that not only is that table hidden, away from the newest books and windows, but it's small and the chairs aren't as much comfortable as other ones. Gotta say I'm really thankful for that. Junhoe and I now have a place to call ours.

When my tall friend sits across from me, I almost forget about my problems. He puts his Boku no Hero's notebook on the table, opening it and getting everything ready to begin reading his notes. Only that I didn't want a study partner today.

"June-ssi, can we just talk about random stuff today? It's kinda empty here anyway, nobody will be asking us to shut up". Yeah, it already happened.

"Oh. Well, yeah. Sure". He probably thought I would be avoiding talking. "Actually, there's something I wanted to ask you".

I was kinda taken aback, curious too. "Go ahead".

"Hyung, you know there are other ways, right? I mean, to get on stage. I'm sorry if I'm being too nosy, hyung. It's just that... why would a hip hop event take place in an area so distant? There are underground scenarios taking place in better areas, full of people and stuff".

I felt that chill down my spine. For a moment, I thought June knew about something. But it looks like he doesn't really have an idea about what happens there, it's all an assumption.

"Junhoe, it won't take long. I can't keep up with those guys, you know? All those sunbaes? Pff... I'll soon be finished. Don't worry".

He nodded, but I could see he wasn't buying what I said – he was just too sweet to insist in a matter he knows I don't really want to go on about. It's incredible how he manages to look through me, realizing things with no need of words.

Sometimes I caught myself thinking about Junhoe in different moments of the day. If I see or hear anything related to anime, for example. Or when someone smiles or laughs and I think it's nothing like June's laugh. With all this shit going on, I feel like I'm not giving Junhoe the time I wanted. I wish I could be with him more, talk freely, but I'm always worried.

"Hyung", his voice brings me back to the present moment "you think about college?"

"Not really. I'm determined to major in music, so I don't stress too much over it. I just need to keep studying with you, so I can feel more inspired by such a genius". I smile, not at my joke but after seeing his cute laugh. "What about you? You still don't know what you like?"

"Well, kinda always knew, just didn't want to accept. I thought I should major in something that would provide me with a well-paid job later. But the truth is, I wasn't really going to be happy, ya know? So... I decided to major in literature. Surprised?"

"Oh. A little, yes. But I think is suits you well. More important, I'm really happy you're going for something you like". I truly am. Junhoe is an awesome human being. He's kind to people, he treats his friends really well, caring for them in his own reserved way. When I look at him, all I want is to see him happy, shining, laughing and enjoying himself.

"Uh... that's not all, hyung. Look, don't judge me, okay? It's just that, well, I write poems". He stopped, glancing at me. I don't know what he expected. Maybe he thought I'd laugh at his hobby? "And... I wrote one for you". Wow. Now I'm surprised. "Don't get all excited, hyung. Haha. It's not much." He gave me an envelope. "Read at home, okay?" I nodded, smiling fondly and putting the envelope in my bag.

When I looked to Junhoe, when our eyes met, it was like electric waves went through my veins.