I'm not okay (I promise)

We've Cancelled The Warm Up Tour

A few days passed, the doctors and the dietician were pleased with my progress. Frankie was there to pick me up and take me home.

I'd got recipe charts, a dietary plan and my list of appointments. The doctor came to discharge me and Frankie picked up everything they had given me.

"I'm sorry that I've been such a burden on you all." I said as I got into Frank's truck. "Don't be silly. We all just want you to feel better. We've cancelled the warm up tour so that we can take care of you."

I was mortified. "You can't cancel the tour. Call Brian and get him to tell everyone that is going ahead as planned." Frank looked shocked. "I won't have you disappointing your fans because of my health problems. You can't put your life on hold. I'll be ok. I have Drew and Ziva I can call."

Frank didn't say anything else until we got home. Everyone was sitting in the living room and I smiled before heading into the kitchen. I wanted to rustle up something quick.

I found the pasta and tinned tomatoes. There where some mozzarella pearls in the fridge and the dried basil in the cupboard. I cooked off the pasta before draining it and returning it to the pan. Adding the tomatoes, basil and mozzarella, heating it through until the mozzarella began to melt.

Dishing up, deliberately making sure I had made equal amounts for everyone. I set the table, placing everyone's plate down.

"Guys... Lunch is ready..." I looked at Frankie. "You ok Frankie?" He looked up and nodded. "Come on then it is getting cold."

I sat down at the table and waited. Ray came in and sat beside me. "Ash this looks amazing!" I smiled. "Are the others coming?" He shook his head. "They said they weren't hungry." I shrugged my shoulders. "Their loss. Enjoy!"

This had been the first home cooked meal I had enjoyed since my mom had met that monster. I cleared my plate and saw Ray smile. "This is amazing Ash. I didn't know you could cook?!" I smiled. "Yeah. My great grandma taught me."

I looked at the now wasted plates of food and sighed. "Ash I'm proud of you. 1 step at a time I know but we've made a start."

The feeling that someone was proud of me overpowered the one of disappointment that had been stirring in my stomach. I cleared the table, washed up and then wrote down what I had eaten in the food diary I'd been told to keep.

"So... Froman. What is it that caused you all to cancel the warm up tour?" He dried up the plates. "Well what with all your appointments and wanting someone around to make sure nothing bad happens, we decided it would be best..."

"So it's me..." That's the reason. "Look if that's all it is don't cancel the tour. You can't let the fans down. If it's just because of my health problems then I can just admit myself into the clinic. That way they can keep an eye on me. You don't have to worry about me constantly and we can still talk on the phone."

"I'll talk it over with the guys." I nodded and finished drying up. Ray left to go and run a few errands. I wanted to sit down with the guys but they were no where to be found.

There was a note posted to my door.

'Ash,

Just popped to get coffee. Sorry that we didn't sit and have lunch with you.

Will see you in about 15 minutes.

Love

Frankie, Gee and Mikey'

I sighed. 'Hey if you are getting coffee can you grab me a venti skinny vanilla latte? Love you Frankie xx - Ash' I texted.

I went into my room and pulled out my rucksack. It had been hectic since we came to New Jersey but I loved it here. I'd only just pulled out my sketchbook when I heard the door go.

"I told you she would be a vanilla latte girl Gee!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever Frankie!"

"Would you guys keep it down. Ash is probably in her room and we need to set up."

Frankie laughed. "Get started then Mikey. I'm taking my girl her coffee!"

I smiled to myself as I continued to sketch Frank. I wanted to finish it before they went on this local tour.