Life was starting to weigh down on John. He loved what he was doing, he loved that he’d be able to go over to Europe for a few weeks, months tops, and show them how to win in a war!
He still hated drills, they still sucked. He hated having to get up early and eating rations, god how he loathed it. But there was nothing he could do about it, America was now at war with Germany and Italy. Nobody saw the Japanese attacking Pearl Harbour, nobody! The US lost so many ships during the bombings, it felt like they’d lost already. But America was always the victor despite how many times she gets hit - they’ve yet to fight in a war that they haven’t won.
When John got Lillian’s letter a few days ago, his heart shattered. Even through words, John could see how devastated she was. He knew how much she didn’t want America to get involved with the war, he knew how much she hated him being in the military. John couldn’t face writing to Lillian and telling her what was about to happen, so he did the next best thing. He wrote to Billy.
He told him everything (in as little detail as he could) that he couldn’t tell Lillian, he told him all his fears, he told him that it was okay for him to be there if he were to die in Europe, he told him about New York. John had always wanted to go to New York, but never like this.
When John had finished the letter, he folded it roughly, putting it in the envelope and hurriedly wrote Billy’s address on the paper. Soon he was getting another piece of paper - a smaller one - and simply wrote:
20th December 1941
My darling Lillian,
Please do forgive me, I cannot say how hard this was to even think of writing. When you receive this letter I will be in Europe - I am currently writing this in Camp. The reason? My troops and I are going to be in New York for a few days before we get shipped out, and I don’t want you following me there. I know you will, but if you do I’m afraid that I won’t be able to let you go. It was difficult enough letting you go the first time, to let you go for a second time would shatter me.
We always said that we’d go to New York together, but if you were to follow me there I would never leave. Darling, I couldn’t bear to see any more tears fall down your face. Stay home. Stay safe.
P.S. Do not be mad at Billy, I left him instructions to give this letter to you in the new year. Please forgive me, Lillian.
I love you, with my entire heart and soul.
I leave all of my love with you, darling.
John.
John looked at the letter he’d written to Lillian, it was so small. He’d written longer ones to her, but he was scared that if he were to write any more to her then he’d send her letter separately. He couldn’t do that to her, he couldn’t watch her face as he walked away from her again. John gently folded the letter, trying to put as much love into it as he could, and wrote Lillian’s name on it. He wrote it so slowly it didn’t feel like he was writing at all; every swish and swirl of the letters were being ingrained into his head, so he’d never forget it. John placed a small kiss to the paper before he put it in the envelope with the letter to Billy.
After sealing the letter, John got to his feet slowly. It was like he was having an out of body experience, nothing felt real to him. Before he knew it, John was in the mail room, the letter was being handed over to the mail carrier. This was quite possibly the last thing he’d ever send to Lillian. Alive. Of course, John couldn’t say if he was going to survive this war anymore. Giving how horrendous and blood curdling the attack on Pearl Harbor was, John didn’t know what to think - and he couldn’t afford to think like that, especially since he’s got somebody waiting for him.
Once the war is over, John will be coming home. Home, to his sweetheart.
