SHE (woman of substance)

CHAPTER NINTEEN

        I stood outside the station and looked around. I checked the time. It was a few minutes past four. It was still dark and foggy. I felt so cold. I hugged myself rubbing my upper arms. I was home.  I couldn't believe it. All this time I'd been so caught up in other people's issues I almost forgot my own. I kind of felt thankful towards Paul. If it wasn't for seeing him, I wouldn't be here. But how had I come? Empty handed. Without even a coat to shelter me from the cold. I watched Nick dissappear in the darkness. Here had sure changed since i left. I closed my eyes and pushed those thoughts away. I inhaled the cold air. My nostrils hurt. I didn't mind though. I was home.
         I felt a jacket being draped around me and opened my eyes. Nick was standing besides me. He held out his hand."lets take you  home."  I shook my head negatively.  "Am home. Am going home."
"It's cold. And dark. And a lot could happen to a pretty woman in the cold night. Lets take you to your home. And then I will go to my hotel."
I looked down at his hand. I wondered if it wasn't tired from being held out too long. I knew I had a few cents in my purse. Not enough for taxi. I could walk but it was dark. Why not take him on the offer. He looked like a nice guy. So I took his hand and we walked to the taxi.
The moment we entered, the guy immediately drove off. Do you know where I stay? I looked up at Nick. This was after some silence as the guy had driven for some minutes.  Nick called the driver and told him to stop so I could tell him my address.
              The car stopped. "Let me first take a piss." The driver said. Nick nodded and we watched him move out. A few minutes passed. Nick called out my name and I turned to look at him. "Don't worry about him. I know him well. He is my body guard. I told him to come meet me here. Am going upcountry to run an errand for a friend. He always moves with a gun and could never put us in danger. I had to use public means up to here because he was already upcountry. " I nodded. I almost told him I saw him before but I didn't have the energy to talk.
"So am going to ask you nicely, to come and straddle me." I whipped my head towards him and managed to statter a what!
           He looked serious. "I don't want to hear u say anything. My body guard is standing on watch outside. We are a station away from your original destination. Straddle me, we do things chap chap and I get you home." My heart was beating fast. Oh God. I thought to myself. I wish I had stayed with Thomas. "Oh God. Oh God.  You can't do this to me." I said. "You planned this?"  "Silence! I said silence!" He rapped his hand on his side of the window. And a gun muzzle came through as it quickly opened. "I've got to go home." I thought to myself.
                   Tears were streaming down my face as I straddled him. I felt his hand on my thighs. They pushed my panties aside. And he started touching me. I felt his finger slide inside me. I just held both my hands to my face over my mouth to stop myself from screaming. He opened his zipper, pulled me close. He was in me. I winced at the sharp pain. He had taken my virginity.  I didn't know what was happening any more. He pulled out of me and pushed me to sit back on the seat. "Where do you stay?" He asked.  I had no energy left in me to fight. So I told him. The driver came in and we drove off.
            I lost track of time. "We are here. " I heard him say. I moved out of the car and slammed the door. It was getting light now. The darkness clearing.  I moved on quietly and knocked on the door. I looked back and the car had gone. I heard footsteps coming close to the door and used the lower part of my dress to wipe my face and planted a fake smile. Smaller arms than I remembered hugged me. She had grown thinner. "You are here! Come come." She said.  She pulled me through the house even with my shoes still on to the room where daddy lay. He heard us entering and turned to look at us. He recognised me.
              Flail arms raised to hug me. I knelt down to hug him back. He patted my back. "You came!" He sounded amazed. I nodded. "Am sorry for letting you down." He was struggling to speak. "It's ok daddy. Now we got each other. I love you." I earnestly told him, for a moment forgetting my sorrow.
"I can now rest." He whispered. And then went still. It took me time to realise what had happened.  When I did, realise that he was gone, and his arms around me, my world broke loose.