I lied *Style* UNDER EDITING

Gotta get up from my bed

Tape Number 1 part 2

I don't know why I wanted to meet this guy. Sure, I wanted to move on from Stan but... It seems to fast now.

I can't doubt myself now. What Stan did is in the past.

If only he could see how much he's hurt me.

I sighed, deciding to call Kenny.

"Hey KenKen."

"You OK, Ky?" I froze up. He knew me to well.

"Yea... Just nervous about meeting the new guy."

"Well, he goes by the nickname Fox, he loved the colour green and he thinks you've got a sweet ass."

"???"

"I showed him an ass pic I got from you when you weren't watching."

"What the hell, Ken?!"

"I'm sorry!" I couldn't help but laugh.

"You're a fucking weirdo."

"I know right? I'm confused as to why Mari even likes me!"

"She's lucky she's got a guy like you."

"Mean it?"

"Totally. If I was crush free, and looking for a boyfriend, I'd go for you."

"Awwww, thanks KyKy!" I smiled.

"Do you think Stan will ever love me?"

"..." There's my answer.

"Right..."

I hung up, face planting my pillow in frustration and screamed.

Why the hell do I love that asshole?!

☆*:. .:*☆

I looked up at the stars. I was sitting on my roof, my usual place to hang out now. I could never shake the feeling of complete and utter freedom when I was up high.

I sighed happily, paying no attention to anything.

The stars are comforting.

I sighed, stretching and laying down on the roof as it was getting lighter. I didn't want people to see me on the roof. They'd assume the worst. I don't want people to worry.

Sometimes I wish that things would go back to the way they where before. Before Stan hated me, before I came out the closet.

Its a shame my Super Best Friend isn't my Super Best Friend anymore.

I tell myself I don't care.

I'm lying.

☆*:..:*☆

I slid off the roof, getting ready for school.
Today I had space piercings, a Saturn choker, a 'Space is far yet close' top, and my usual checkered shirt.

☆*:. .:*☆

"Hey Mom."

"Hi Bubbie!" I rolled my eyes. So not cool.

"I gotta go." She raised an eyebrow.

"Without breakfast?"

"All the kids do it." She relented. And j walked out.

☆*:. .:*☆

I sighed, Cartman's group was eary. The roof it was.

I lay on the edge, stomach on the bricks as I kicked my legs. My book was pretty interesting.

All about Wicca and Paganism and the differences between them.

Again, interesting.

I was doing well for myself, no one had seen me.

And I wasn't slipping towards the edge.

I turned my page when I heard a scream. I looked down and say Bebe staring up at me. I rolled my eyes, the fucking idiot just doesn't appreciate that I feel happy where I am.

Everyone started crowding around the bottom of the school, waiting for me to jump. I looker for my friends, Craig, Tweek, Mari and Kenny. Non of them where there.

Stan wasn't there either, but that's not important.

I felt and heard Tweek, he was hugging me from behind and spazzing out.

"T-Tweek, its OK..."

"Ngh, no, Gah! Its not!"

I hugged back, giving Craig the usual 'help before you kill me.' Look.

Craig kissed Tweek, gently pulling him towards him.

Kenny and Mari where there as well.

Again, no Stan.

Not that I cared if my crush didn't care.

Who am I kidding?