{On Hold For Editing} To the End. (and Beyond (Frerard))

Chapter 11- Smoke and Mirrors

So hello my people. How has your day been? I hope you're all having a magical summer. Mines been me stuck in my room for 23 hours a day.

I don't know what else to say. Um..

Peace, Love, Empathy- Neon

Chapter 11- Smoke and Mirrors

Gerard's POV

I felt empty. I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I felt like someone was squeezing my lungs and heart, slowly killing me.

I'm losing my grip. I can't hold on anymore. The air around me is suffocating like a pillow pressed against my face. I let go. I'm falling and falling. The monster got what it wanted.

I shot up in bed, gasping in air. In. Out. In. Out. Sweat was clinging to my forehead and back, causing the sheets to stick to me. I glanced at the bedside clock and saw that it was 7:05 AM. Sighing, I fell back on my bed.

It wasn't the first time this dream haunted me. I was dangling over a pit, barely holding on to the edge. Something lay waiting at the bottom, a monster ready to devour me. It called to me, beckoning me to fall. A Pied Piper to my death. The feeling of being empty remained, even when I was awake though.

I flipped out my cell and called Frank. Six rings later, I got his voicemail.

"Hey, this is Frank. If this is important, leave a message. If not, fuck off. Later."

I rolled my eyes, flipping my phone shut. I'm a big boy. I could deal with my own problems. I needed to stop pressing my problems on him.

Crawling out of bed, I stumbled into the bathroom. I peed and washed my hands. I opened the medicine cabinet and popped two sleeping pills.

My back up razor blade sat under the bottle, waiting for me to use it. Temptation rose within me, but I shook it off, knowing a Frank tornado would obliterate me if he knew I had kept one. Jeez, the midget was scary when he got mad.

I snuggled back up in bed, almost instantly falling asleep.

~

Buzz. Buzz. I woke up and answered my phone without checking caller ID.

"Hello?" I sleepily asked.

"Hey, you called earlier. Sorry, I didn't answer, I was busy. What's up dude?" I rubbed my eyes and breathed in sharply.

"Nothing now. I don't even remember now," I lied, gnawing on my bottom lip. I rolled towards the nightstand and check the time. 11:29 AM. "Frankie, shouldn't you be in school?"

"Yeah, I'm cutting 3rd period. The teacher's a bi-atch." I frowned at this.

"Fraaank, you need to go to class so you can graduate and get a job," I chided.

"I'm going to play guitar in a band. Problem solved. Don't worry so much. You sound like one of those TV moms that freak out over everything," he laughed. It made my stomach turn. Why do I get so tense when he laughs?

"Bitch," I taunted.

"Jerk."

"I'm so proud, Frankie," I fake gushed.

"I think I'm more of a Dean than Sam, though. Hey I'm still coming to your place later, right?" He asked.

"If you go to the rest of your classes."

"Maybe, maybe not. There's no way you'll know, anyways. Sucka."

"Good bye, Frank. Go to class."