~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sealcat: no we dont use that room there was spider in it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ironmanarlert: u can run
u can hide
but you cant change the fact that scooby doo's real name is scoobert doo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
patrickstump: if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic
dogepom: "whos flat now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
jesusinc: I love sunglasses, am I looking at that tree? Am I staring at your dick? Who knows!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
c00kiedough: sleeping in an oversized hoodie seems like a good idea until its 2am and it feels like you're taking a bath with satan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
freudian-slipped: if you out a frog in boiling water, it will jump out.
if you out a frog in warm water and gradually turn up the heat until the water is boiling, the frog will remain there until it dies.
and that us an abusive relationship.
bad-w0lff: Holy shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
mothwizard: me: i want something very short and small and cutesy and most importantly body safe and discreet.
sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERES ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
egberts: "hey you have a zit on your-" YES. THANK YOU. I AM AWARE. I AM FULLY AWARE OF MY ACNE AND WHERE ITS LOCATED. ALL YOU'VE DONE BY POINTING IT OUT IS HUMILIATE ME. THANKS. THANK YOU. THANKS A LOT.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
nice-wig-janis: wow my parents better thank me that im addicted to tv shows and movies not drugs and alcohol
iamsicktomorrow: I told this to my mom and she said "wells thats true. But if I have to hear about that gay angel one more time i will get you addicted to crack"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bigrnac: on today's episode of "whats wrong in my life" my blanket does not cover my feet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
papayakiwi: "homosexuality is wrong bc god said so"
*mom voice* well if god said to jump of a bridge would you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
li-li-litchi: What if instead of police dogs, there were giant, man sized police spiders
cookiemonstahz: There would be no crime
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hokagee: today i was yelling at my sister outside and a fucking cheery blossom petal landed in my mouth which shut me up and my sister said "The anime gods have silenced you"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
urbanfuck: anal sneezes are cute as shit
urbanfuck: sorry iphone the word i was looking for was "animal" sneezes better luck next time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
