Find Me

•Meet me•

This is it.
I need this.
I want this.
Time to face reality and everything it has.
A morning walk to the park.
Just me, myself and I.
No more hides.

This is the hardest decision I've ever made. I've negatively debated this through and through but deep down I know it's for the best. I can't continue like this for I know something somewhere will bring shine light on me.
My pathetic life.
I can't continue shoving myself out from the world.
The beautiful world;
That it's full of bitter toxic people.

I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and shoved it in my pocket. Slowly at my pace I took one last glance at my watch, adjusted my scarf and made my way out of the house.

I decided to take the long way to the park.
Feel the cold thin air penetrating in my nostrils.
Feel the wind whirling my hair around.
The bright warm sun rays burning my skin.
Just to for some moment to try forget everything.

It doesn't feel bad after all.
Yes.
Midst town.

After a half an hour walk, I looked around and spotted an empty bench.
I softly smiled and walked towards it.

I took off my earphones from my pocket and plugged them into my ears.
I scrolled down to my phone's playlist in search for one song.
One of my most played songs.
Dammit! I forgot my loaded memory card at home.
Why now?

I felt eyes on me.
I had made the perfect timing to move out of the house so there was no possibility that it was more than three people staring.
I decided to just ignore the glares.
I clicked to my radio widget from the home screen.

I didn't bother to look which channel was on.
I took out my dairy and pen from my jacket.

Cry by Lecrae ft Taylor Hill

I forcefully closed my eyes from the deep lyrics of the song.
Memories started to rush in and out of my clogged up brain.
I felt a hot tear drop from my swollen eyes.
Deep.
As they made their way down my cheeks.
I want to stop this but the song is just so relating.
Few tears flowed out involuntarily.
My messed up life.
My darkness.

I need to stop.
I don't want to bring myself pity, sorry or sympathy glares that everyone just warmly give me every time they look at me.
I hurriedly wiped my tears with my right hand elbow.

I trembly opened my diary and wrote

Dear best friend,
Today I've decided to do it.

Only two lines were the only ones my fingers could manage to scribble down.
I can't take it anymore.
That's it.

I turned to the direction my instincts were screaming me to look at.
I blinked once. Twice. Thrice. Several.

A boy.
Must be ten years old.
He's holding a drawing which I can't figure out what it is from a far.

He bravely looks at me directly in the eyes.
I want to look away but I just find myself staring at him.
He got up from the grass and started to walk to my direction.

Kids.

I didn't bother to look further. I continued trying to form words to explain the thoughts that are screeching in my head.
I feel a bodily presence next to me.
I abruptly closed my diary.
Still my head is facing down.

"You shouldn't be here kid. Get lost." I hoarsely mumbled.

"Here. This is for you."
I twisted my head a little and spotted his handing me the same paper he was holding.

I didn't move. I just stared at his drawing.
It made me speechless.
I looked at him and see his hazel eyes sparkle with warmth.
No pity. No sympathy. No critics. No hate.
Just warmth.

I can't possibly find the right words to explain what am now feeling. A different feeling. An amazing feeling.

"That's you. That's me beside you. Smiling at sky. That's my best friend stretching out his hand to us. He always looks after me when am down, I can share my best friend with you. I just know he'll love to know you."
He softly utters with so much joy in him.

"Greg, get back here. How many times have I told you to stop talking to strangers. Didn't I warn you about talking to her?"
A female voice.
I gaze at the side she is.
She's so angry from the facial expressions she's wearing.

I look at the boy as he places the paper on my bench as if he's been startled. With a sad face he hurriedly ran off to her.
I guess that's his mother.

Didn't I warn you about talking to her?

Nothing has changed.
Am still an outcast to everyone in this town.
I know they talk, I feel their talks run through my veins.
It was a bad idea to come out.

The wind blew and the paper was flying on the wind's force. I caught it.

I gazed at the drawing.
It's so sketchy.
It looks like an adult and a child beside the adult.
A hand figure is stretched out from the sky.
Then I remembered the kid's description on the drawing.

I try to reason out but I can formulate any logic from his description and from what am seeing. This is so absurd.
I just nicely folded it and placed it inside my diary.

*Ding! Ding! Ding!*

That's the church bell.
Meaning everyone is now on their way out from the service.
I hurriedly woke up from the bench and made my way towards my house.

Well I am April.
Am twenty one years.
Am a weirdo to every human in Midst town.

I have a past.
Everyone knows.
I bet you too have heard it all.
They all talk.
It haunts me day in day out.
I neither have a family left nor do I have friends to hang out with.
It's just me with my enchanted illusions.

I once had everything: dreams, family, friends, job but now it's just only me.
Everything is just sour.
Am bitter and lonely.
Seems like it all happened in a fast spur.

Today is Sunday.
I had decided to take a walk since I knew the park would be empty.
Everyone went to church.
People that is.
At least not me.
I don't know what to I believe in anymore.
My faith in every good is weakened down.
That's me.
Hi!

'×'×'×'×'×'×'×'
Hey loves 😍,
Thank you for choosing to read my book. I don't take it for granted.
❤I just need a lil favour from you:
*don't be a ghost reader, share with me your thoughts on the start off and general the story as it flows. I enjoy hearing my readers thoughts.
*Don't forget to click on that star button below every end of a chapter. Trust me it makes your fingers twitch hehe 😜❤

Got a lot ahead for you guys, can't wait
wynnemsorh 💕