Leave me
Just leave me
Just let me be.
I'm tired
Exhausted
Dealing with this battle
Consistently
On off
Like a light switch
It gets to be so much
At times
I wish it wasn't a ticking bomb
Tick, ticking
Just waiting..
Fine one minute
A mess the next
I swear to you I'm not crazy
I'm not losing it
It's just how is
One thing for sure
I'm always going
Fighting,
Managing,
Staying Strong..
Falling down
It can leave me bruised,
Wounded.
Weak for days,
Weeks,
Who ever knows.
I've always gotten back up
Brushing myself off
Hardly think about whats
In front of me
For years to come
One day is a battle at times as is
Up, down,
This way, that way..
One me against me.
Against the world
Against you.
Against this..
How can I look so far?
I live in the now
More like flow through
Like the wind.
Like the wind.
It goes smoothly.
It goes roughly.
It,
it just doesn't.
Moments I feel
Mostly
Numb
How can that be living
I know it's not
Even with my heart
Beat, beat, beating
Safe against my chest
Enclosed
God I want to feel
Get addicted to it
Like a drug, high
On emotion
Problem is I never think
Once I'm feeling
About it
For I'm feeling
Until I'm back
To nothingness
Yet again.
Hate.
I hate.
That's more there
Than others
Hate..
Hate this
Hate the lectures
Hate the guilt
Hate him
Hate you
Hate me
Hate life
(Mostly) come to hate this me
One way or another.
Tell me something I don't know
For I know
I don't deserve this
You mean well
You love me
They always seem to do.
I know
I deserve to be loved
Happy
To love me
To love life
I can't control
Not so much yet
This me
Is
And always be
Be me
So might as well
Just let it be
Just let me be
-N.Q.
YOU ARE READING
The Deepest Parts Of My Soul
Poetry"I'm a disease you can't heal Pimple that you can't get rid Leaving a scar" "It's funny How that simple cut Can effect so much of our lives" ....my innermost thoughts and emotions written across the page for all to see in attempts to heal mysel...
