Final Goodbyes

206 5 2

by karamel3029

by karamel3029

——————————————————- 4 weeks later———————————————————
Kara's POV
I wake up to the sun shining through my window and complete peace. Not just quiet peace, but peace with myself. I've been thinking a lot about what Alex told me. How I can mourn him. It's okay and that she believes everything happens for a reason. I don't know what reason would cause Rao to take him from me. I still haven't had the courage to say his name to anyone nor in my mind. It's noticeable I'm hurting. I know that. But I'm not going to admit it. I'm not going to admit that I'm dying. I miss him. And today is the funeral. But for some reason, when I need it the most like today, it's like somehow he sends me comfort and peace. I'm content for the first time in a long time. I'm knocked out of my thoughts by my phone ringing. It was Alex.

"Hey Alex," I say into the phone.

"Hi Kara. The service starts at 12:30 pm and ends at 5:30. You can come early and stay longer if you want. Mon El is still at the DEO if you want to say your final goodbyes." I inhaled sharply when she said his name.

"Yeah. I'll come down to see him and I'll be down early. I think I'm going to have to adjust to my surroundings before everyone gets there."

"I understand. I'll see you later, sis. Love you."

"Yeah. Bye." With that, I hung up. I can't imagine seeing him dead. I just can't wrap my head around that image. That was my worst fear when he was gone. Him dying and me not being there to help him and hold him. And I'm the fastest women or man on Earth and I couldn't be fast enough to save the man I love. Why?
———————————————At the DEO 30 minutes later——————————————
Kara's POV
I step inside the DEO from the balcony and stare at the round table. Then I look at the steps and the training room. Suddenly, all these memories come rushing back. Why? Why must grief come back and torture you? Finally, I glance up at the med bay. Alex was standing outside his room as she waited for me to arrive. I was wearing a black bell sleeve top with black pants that flare out near my ankle with gold stilettos and gold jewelry. My hair was lightly crimped with most of my hair falling over the right side of my head, just like he always liked it. I walked up the steps to Alex. She was wearing a beautiful black dress and her hair nicely combed.
"Hey Alex," I said with a sigh.
"Hey, Kara. He is in there if you want to go see him," Alex told me as she pointed to Mon El behind her, behind the glass. I nodded and I walked around her to get to the entrance. I hadn't had the bravery to look up quite yet. I just stared at the stone colored, cold, dark floor as I walked towards him. I got to his bed. I looked up. His whole body was covered with a tarp, except for his head. A tear immediately escaped my eye and trickled down my rosy cheek. I put my handbag down on the floor next to him and I took a seat next to his bed. I sat there for a good 10 minutes just staring at him in disbelief. I looked truly sad. My mascara running down my face, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything right now, except for him. Then, I extended my arms out so that my hands rested on either side of his face. I caressed his cheek with my thumb and I leaned down to put my forehead to his. And I just said, "I'm sorry." Another tear slipped down my face. I sat up and left one hand on his face.
"You know, I think one of my most favorite feelings is laughing with someone and realizing half way through it, that I just purely enjoy their existence." I smiled when I said that. I know he can't hear me, but I just really need to talk to him right now. "But, Mon El, I don't understand the feeling of why destiny allows two people to fall in love but never lets them be together. I don't know why we couldn't be together and I don't know why you had to pay for this mess." I'm crying at this point and so I lay my head on his chest and I whisper in his ear, "I will never regret being with you. I will never wish that I never met you because you are everything I want and need." I kiss his forehead and sit back up. I inhale deeply and exhale shakily. "That feeling in your stomach when your heart is broken..it's like all the butterflies just died." I said as my voice cracked and I let out sobs. "And everyday since you had died, I wished and wished that Heaven has a phone so I can hear your voice," I say as I chuckle to myself. "A million words can't bring you back, I know because I've tried. And a million tears can't either, I know because I've cried." I just can't stop the tears from falling. I hold his hand and squeeze it tightly. "I just wish I could've told you I love you. I want you to hear it. I will never get tired of telling you I love you." I put my hands back in my lap and I look up at the ceiling and try to stop the tears from falling. I fiddle with my fingers and roll my shoulders back. I stand up and shake my body as if I'm shaking water off my body after I get out of a pool. I bend down to get my purse and I stand back up. I look down once more and I kiss his lips. I lay my forehead against his, again and tell him I love him. My heels click against the floor as I walk out. I pull out my phone and I get a text from Alex.
Texts:
Alex: Hey, Kara. I left you be with Mon El. J'onn, Winn, James, Lena, and I are all at the viewing setting up. Meet us there when you are ready. They are coming to get his body at 12:15.

Me: Okay. I'm headed out now. Sorry I took so long.

Alex: It's okay. Will see you soon. Love you!

Me: 👍🏻

I look at the time and it reads: 12:10. I better get going before they come to get his body for the viewing. On that note, I glance back at him, blow him a kiss, and fly out the balcony to the viewing.