Billie Eilish's Neighbor [MATURE]

Our Time Alone

      I didn't hangout with Billie until Friday. I didn't bother asking her to have lunch with me because she was always hanging out with a new group of people everyday, and I wanted her to have friends. I'd text her after school and ask if she wanted to hangout but she always said she was busy. I took that as I sign she didn't want to be around me anymore. I wasn't lonely or anything, I had a group of friends I hung out with but I just questioned what I did wrong to make her not like me. And then at lunch on Friday she quickly came over to me and hugged me. "Come over to my house later" she said, then ran off with Spencer.

      I told my friend Lucas that I couldn't make it after school because I had work to do. "What work?" He asked. I looked down and played with my thumbs. "You know. Work. Chores." He looked disappointed and said "but it's a Friday! What about our plans to go see Lynette and Janelle? We haven't seen them in so long. You can do work on Saturday or Sunday you can't bail on us like this." The only person who knew about me liking Billie was my best friend Parishé so I just shook my head and walked away. "I'll text you later Lucas."

      I was walking home when I saw the group of people again. The ones who threatened to kill me. Luckily they didn't see me but I ran anyways all the way to my house, and slammed the door. "Andy don't do that!" My aunt said startled. "I'm sorry I just-it... the wind. Anyways I'm going to Billie's now bye" I stuttered. She took my shoulder and said I had to wait until after I had dinner which my uncle didn't even start making. So it was two hours after school ended when I finished. It would've been two and a half but I shoved all my food into my mouth not caring what I looked like. One step forward! Be proud of yourself. I opened my door to see Billie waiting on her porch playing with some sour grass that was starting to grow. " I was worried about you I've been texting you for a while" she mentioned. "Aunt Mona made me wait to eat dinner first, I'm sorry about that." She looked at her front door and asked "shall we?"

      She took me to her room and told me to lie down but I didn't process that at first. I was looking at her, really taking in how beautiful she was standing in the doorway with a gray tank top on and black shorts. Her hair fell perfectly on her chest and I could see her chest rising and falling. I wanted to feel her heartbeat. "Andy?" I looked up and saw her eyebrow raised. "Oh um long day I spaced out" I said quickly. "Ok...? As I said. Lie down on my bed and close your eyes. I'm sorry for blowing you off for a few days, I was busy doing this." And I heard the light switch turn off. She made me move over so she could get in bed too. "Ok, open them."

      I couldn't comprehend what I saw on her ceiling. There was a night sky that faded from navy blue to black on the top which you could barely see in the dark, and there were hundreds of little white stars. "See I told you I like stars now. You helped me imagine a better life" she laughed. Oh. I thought. So it's not me it really is the stars. "I realized how lonely I really am and how you said stars aren't ever lonely, and I think I want to be a star too" she said while lifting her herself up.

      She lowered her head just 3-4 inches away from mine and said "If I were a star I'd want you with me. I want you with me now" she quietly said. "I'm right here" I whispered. Before I knew what was happening she leaned in and closed the gap between our lips. My body warmed up immediately and my heart was racing. She pulled away and turned her head and said "I'm sorry I really am." I almost pleaded "Billie you didn't do anything wrong. I-I want to do it again." She hesitated and then with no problem at all got on top of me and started kissing me again. We were both cautious but eventually started getting more comfortable and it got more intense. I was very aware of her hand on my side and the other in my hair, and she slowly slid one hand up onto my stomach and started to reach my bra and then... my phone started ringing and startled both of us. I picked up and it was my aunt saying "it's time to come home you've been there for two hours and it's late." I looked at Billie and we both laughed so I hugged her goodbye and went back home.

      I took a deep breath when I went into my small blue room and it reminded me of Billie's ceiling. My mirror showed me someone else, someone beautiful. I've been told that I'm skinny, 98 pounds skinny. But I can't help but see myself as obese so I don't eat much at all. Today I didn't see that. She made me feel beautiful and I've never really experienced that.

Fuck.