lemonade stand // c.h.

[03]

[03]

                   It feels weird, to Evelyn. It feels weird walking out the doors of the library with someone walking beside her that isn’t Poppy, and it feels even weirder that that one person is someone of the male species, and more specifically: Calum Hood. And to top off all that weirdness, they are just walking in silence. This was always unheard of when it came to the two of them, especially when they were little. As little kids, the two never shut up.

                Evelyn bites her lip rather nervously as the two trail slowly down the street, towards their homes. It had been a while since Evelyn had company while making the trip, but she’s learned to prefer being alone. Except her therapist never liked the idea. Evelyn has a habit of getting lost in her thoughts. She thinks too much, especially when she’s alone. Her therapist told her that she needs to spend more time around people, to distract her from that never-resting brain of hers, and for her to have fun for once.

                Unfortunately, fun is no longer in Evelyn’s vocabulary. It hasn’t existed in her life for over a year, and she doesn’t expect it to ever return. Everything she does, feels like some sort of chore she doesn’t want to take part in. And when asked to go out, she responds that she doesn’t feel like it. Because she never feels like it. She’s always feeling drained and tired. She’s worn out.

                And maybe that’s just the depression doing its job. It doesn’t matter how high the dosage is on her meds, she always feels the same. She feels tired, and sad. And the feelings never seem to go away. They stay with her day after day, from the moment she wakes up, to the moment she closes her eyes at night a falls asleep. The only time her mind is ever at peace, is when she’s asleep.

                So as she walks beside Calum, she thinks. She thinks about how much his life has changed in the past year, just like hers. She wonders what he’s been up too, and how much his life has probably improved, while hers has only gotten worse. And she wonders if he’s noticed something different about his childhood best friend. If he even remembers what she used to be like.

                Evelyn recalls a promise she and Calum made. And albeit, the two of them made a lot of promises to each other as kids, but this one has always stuck out to her just a little bit more than the rest. They had promised each other that nothing – literally nothing – would get in the way of their friendship. That they would always stick by each other, and be best friends until the day they day.

                Within a couple of years, that promise was broken.

                Reality – the painful reality – is that many childhood friendships are lost as people grow older. Personalities change, attitudes change, and interests change. And although many people wish they could keep old promises made to those people, many people lose interest and forget those promises completely. But not Evelyn. Evelyn couldn’t forget even if she wanted too. Calum was a massive part of her life for years, and forgetting him like he did her wasn’t something she was capable of doing. And albeit, she really loves Poppy and is thankful to have her around, Evelyn finds herself wishing that the promise her and Calum made that day about staying friends forever, had been kept.

                “So,” Calum begins, licking his bottom lip as he tries to decide how to continue from here. He stuffs his hands in his pockets to keep from fidgeting, before continuing, “how’ve you been?”

                Evelyn takes note that Calum already asked this back at the library, it was one of the first things he asked, so she knows that he’s feeling just as awkward and uncomfortable as she is as they walk side by side. So instead of pointing out his mistake and embarrassing him, she settles with the same response as before.