All alone I went to our spots today
The spot where we once sat I laid
I relived our fantasy
The grass tickling my feet
The trees beside me
Everything was wrong
A true heartbreak
Not a child's game
That ran around
Shouting your name
I Went to sit on the sidewalk concrete
At the park in your street
Where we once
Walked through together
I sat there without you
Alone
I know I didn't speak every word
But when I did
It seemed like you never heard
My heart shouted your name
Another's heart you now claim
Does he give you a new life; new air?
Do his fingers run through your hair?
How does it feel when he tells you he loves you?
Is it everything you've ever wanted?
I see him in your eyes
Your what he wants you to be
Even though you claim to be yourself with him
Slowly I fell for you
Quickly you fall for him
Is his kiss sharp like a knife?
or soft like a feather on your cheek?
Do you think about his voice
when all the music seems too much?
I've been told that you get over people eventually
that the wounds that tore will heal up
and the scars that may get left behind push you forward
I waited all summer for you to get out of my head
Countless scorching nights I tried to sweat you out
Barely finding my way through this suburban maze
I tried to run from you, tried to run faster than the thought of you
Creeping up behind me
You never thought of me that way
Your mind was too oblivious to get it
I understand that now
my silence was just mistaken for disinterest
I stumbled through your happy
My dusk and your dawn
Yesterday I sat in my backyard and stared at the sun for hours
Still hoping I would see you casting a shadow through it
The sun a halo around your body
Confirming the god I thought you were
But all I got was burnt
I know I shouldn't say this
But I wish you weren't happy with him
I wish all his words tore you down
so mine could build you back up
and you could finally see who was right for you
but he is good to you
He Treats you well and truly loves you
He knows how to distract you from everyone else
I want him to be your nightmare so I could be your daydream
But we are just my daydream
Maybe this was my fault
And perhaps I'm ashamed that you have found love
when all I have found it my own isolation
Could have been my lack of affection that blindsided you
Or maybe our souls just never locked
Like his and yours do
All this running around in my mind isn't getting me anywhere
but deeper into our nothing
I greet the moon every night
When I still go looking for us
Lingering in this feeling for longer than I should
You were
colourblind to our fluorescent moments
Or maybe those moments weren't moments at all
But the awkward silence in our unwavering interactions
Maybe I was wrong
Maybe I'm gripping into nothing but a summer haze lost in translation
Your gaze made it a transfiguration
But what we had
What I had with you
Was more than
Friendship
That developed between us
