"Saeng il chuk ha ham ni da..."
Warm.
Everything in this moment is warm. Jeongguk's cheeks, from the undivided attention that's on him. The flame, from the lit candles on the cake in front of him. His chest, from how loved and happy he is.
Jeongguk leans forward in his chair, puffing out his cheeks to blow out the candles. The words in pale blue icing spell out 'Happy 10th Birthday Jeongguk'. The letters are a little wonky, as it had been the excitable and eager-to-help Taehyung who'd written on the cake earlier.
After cake, Jeongguk opens presents. From his parents, he gets a new bike. He'd also gotten money from his grandparents, sent in the mail over a week ago. And then it's Taehyung's turn. He sits on the Jeon's living room floor, squirming in his excitement. "It's a surprise," is all he says before he tugs Jeongguk up the stairs to his room.
When they reach Jeongguk's room, Taehyung pushes the younger in and shuts the door, leaning against it as he grins. Jeongguk pulls his lip between his teeth, a nervous habit of his. "Taetae hyung?" he asks, more a prompt than a question.
"So I kinda have two presents for you. One's in my bag, but I'll give it to you after. This one's more important," announces Taehyung matter-of-factly. Jeongguk just nods, moving to take a seat on the bed. Taehyung follows, and looks him in the eye. "This is serious stuff, Jeonggukkie."
"Okay."
Taehyung nods. "My mom and dad said you should only do this with people you love, and they do it a lot so I think I know what to do."
Jeongguk chews on his lip again. "You think?"
Taehyung laughs, a sound Jeongguk has always loved (–always will love, and will learn to miss–), and takes Jeongguk's hands in his. They're slightly bigger, and softer than the younger's. Jeongguk likes holding Taehyung's hands.
"It's okay, Ggukkie. Are you ready?"
"How can I be ready if I don't know what it is?"
But Taehyung doesn't reply, just scoots closer to Jeongguk on the bed so they're nearly nose-to-nose. Jeongguk can feel Taehyung's warm breath, and it's such an oddly comforting feeling he closes his eyes and just sits there. After a few seconds, he feels something soft press to his lips. Startled, Jeongguk's eyes fly open, but all he sees is Taehyung's face, right in front of him, kissing him. He's seen his parents do this so many times, with Jeongguk always making faces and squealing when it's done in front of him.
Taehyung is kissing him. His lips are soft, so soft, and Jeongguk briefly thinks about the contrast between them and his chapped, bitten off lips. It's only then that it registers, really hits him that Taehyung is kissing him. He's not doing anything. Should he do something? Jeongguk doesn't know how to kiss. But he finds himself pressing back, trying to mimic Taehyung's clumsy movements. And then–
He's kissing Taehyung.
Jeongguk's watched plenty of movies with kissing. It's hard to escape it, really. Even a lot of fantasy and sci-fi movies have at least a little bit of kissing. He's heard the older kids at school, the ones who get caught making out in the bathrooms, describe it as magical, that there's fireworks that explode between your lips as you kiss. But Jeongguk doesn't feel any of that, but he knows he likes it anyway. Kissing Taehyung, as sloppy and inexperienced as they both are, feels right. Like a puzzle coming together. There may not be fireworks, but the feeling coursing through Jeongguk right now is the same one he gets when he beats his high score on a video game.
Euphoria.
After what feels like forever, Taehyung pulls away, wipes at his lips with his sweater sleeve. He looks at Jeongguk. "How was that?"
"G-Good... really good." Jeongguk stammers.
Taehyung beams.
Later, after they've brushed their teeth and said goodnight to Jeongguk's parents, they climb into bed. The birthday boy lays awake, clutching the blanket and staring at the ceiling.
"Taetae hyung?"
"Mhm?" Taehyung rolls over onto his side to face Jeongguk.
"Earlier... you said kissing was something you do with people you love. Is that true?"
"Of course," says Taehyung. "Mama told me you should never do it with someone if you don't love them. I wanted to give you a kiss for your birthday 'cause I love you."
Jeongguk nods, reassured. "Thank you, hyungie. Love you too," he adds before turning back over and closing his eyes.
"Happy birthday, Jeonggukie."
