Smoke & Roses For M (Book 3)

9: Wanting

"Baby.." he breathed, as I kissed him, grabbing his face. "Baby..." his breath warm against my lips.

I kissed him deeply. I loved him so much and there was something inside of me that didn't want to stop.

"M, Babe..." he pulled away a little, but didn't stop kissing me.

I pulled back. I had completely stopped. I took a deep breath and looked at him, crossing my arms. I gave him a look that asked for an explanation.

"Baby, I don't think we should have sex, tonight." He breathed out.

I ran my fingers through my hair, softly scratching the back of my head, as I nodded.

"I want to. Trust me. God, the things I wanna do to you, but we just got back on track, Babe." He explained.

"Right." I continued nodding, letting my hand drop to my side, causing my hair to fall messily. "Yeah. You're right. I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be." He sighed.

I shook my head, mentally stabbing myself repeatedly in the face. I sighed and looked at him again.

"It's not because I don't want to." He tried to comfort me, cupping my face.

"I know." I took a breath, hating myself for looking so desperate.

"I should go." His warm thumb caressed my flushed cheek, with his breath fanning over my exhausted expression.

I just nodded, and slowly looked up at him. He seemed so much taller than before. Maybe it was due to me having my heels off, now.

"Goodnight." His voice was soft.

He leaned in and kissed me softly. A real gentleman-like kiss goodnight. I was in awe.

I placed my hand over his, and let it stay pressed against his large one, as he drew it away. He picked his shirt up, and kissed my forehead, before leaving for good, tonight.

I sighed and took a shower. Tasha had swung by to see how the date went. She sat on the toilet, breast feeding Mill, as I showered. She decided to sit in the bathroom, so she could talk to me.

"Tasha, I was pathetic." I sighed.

"Honey, it wasn't that bad." She tried reassuring.

"It was horrifying." I said, turning the water off, and wrapping a towel around me, before opening the shower curtain.

"M, baby, it doesn't sound that bad." She said, as we both walked out of the bathroom and into my room.

"It was like a hooker begging for a tip." I sighed, drying off.

"Babe, maybe you just think it was that way, because you were embarrassed." She blurted, sitting at the desk chair.

"Tash..." I took a breath and put on panties and an oversized shirt, that evidently happened to be Mr. Baker's.

"Honey, he was just being a gentleman." She sighed, as I scrub dried my hair.

"No." I whined, hanging my towel up. "Tash, I looked so desperate." I sighed, plopping on my bed, hiding my face in my hands.

"Baby, Kelly loves you. He's just respecting your wishes. He fought his own dick for you, babe." She announced.

"How could respect my wishes, when I don't even know what I want?" I all but whined.

We continued with more of me hating myself, until she convinced me to just go talk to him tomorrow. She used returning his jacket as the excuse.

The next morning I dropped Tasha and Mill off at Macky's. It was kinda cold that morning, so I put Mr. Baker's jacket on, without thinking about it.