It was only one song, but that was all she really needed.
"What do you think the next one will be like?" Reid asked, and Ciara shrugged, before looking at the back of the album again, seeing that the next one was named "Fall Away". She saw the track number turn from one to two, and once again, the piano started up, in a much different style this time. Also different was the fact that there was only a few seconds of piano before the words started.
"I don't wanna fall, fall away
I don't wanna fall, fall away
I'll keep the lights on in this place
Cause I don't wanna fall, fall away
I don't wanna fall, fall away
I don't I don't wanna fall, fall away
I will keep the lights on in this place
Cause I don't wanna fall, fall away"
Ciara knew that he had started with the chorus, unlike most songs, but this album seemed to be unlike any others she had heard. She related hardcore to not wanted to fall away, but she didn't know if Tyler meant it the same way she was taking it, but at the same time, she had a sneaking suspicion that was exactly how he wanted it. Perhaps he wanted it so that every person interpreted a different way, interpreted it so that it meant the most to them. For her, falling away meant succumbing to the darkness that was constantly penetrating her mind, and she didn't want to do that. To do that would mean letting herself fall out of reality forever, and she wouldn't have that. So just like the song, she would keep the light in her mind to keep herself from falling away. She didn't know what she expected the verse to sound like, but she didn't expect what she got.
"Oh my God, he's rapping! He can rap! Reid, do ye know how cool that is?" she exclaimed, and he laughed at her excitement.
"I disguise
And I will lie
And I will take my precious time
As the days melt away
As I stand in line
I die as I wait as I wait on my crime
And I'll try to delay what you make of my life
But I don't want your way I want mine
I'm dying and I'm trying
But believe me, I'm fine
But I'm lying
I'm so very far from fine
And I, I can feel the pull begin
Feel my conscience wearing thin
And my skin it will start
To break up and fall apart"
Ciara felt the music traveling through her veins as he began the chorus again, the words hitting something deep inside her. No matter how much she tried to hide it, no matter how well she hid it, and no matter how few people actually knew it, she wasn't fine either. She was never fine and she would never be fine. She was dying, in a sense, just like in the song. She was dying because the darkness in her mind was killing her, but she wasn't going to reveal it to anyone else because then it would start to kill them, too, and she wouldn't let it do that. Her conscience had already worn out, and beneath the fabric she used to cover it up, her skin had broken apart, but instead of falling apart, she had shoved it back together, but it left marks that she never let anyone else see.
"Every time I feel selfish ambition
Is taking over my vision
My crime is my sentence
Repentance is taking commission
It's taking a toll on my soul
I'm screaming submission and
I don't know if I am dying or living
Cause I will save face for name's sake
Abuse grace
Take aim to obtain a new name
And a newer place
But my name is lame
I can't walk and I ain't the same
And my name became
New destiny to the grave"
YOU ARE READING
Psychosis
Fanfiction(A Criminal Minds Fanfic {Dr. Spencer Reid}) Isabel Ashe: writer, supposed prodigy, all-around mystery. No one knows anything about Isabel, but that's because she wants to keep it that way. The FBI, however, doesn't want to keep it that way. Through...
