Hannah knew what I was going through.
She knew what you were doing to me.
She knew you had stopped caring.
She knew it was more of a game than it had ever been before.
She wanted to help me.
I told her not to.
I didn't want things to become more complicated.
I knew that if she tried to keep you from getting what you wanted...
You'd make her life hell.
I tried to get that point across to her.
"You know that he'll never let you get away without a beating."
"I don't care! What he's doing to you is wrong."
"You just don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?"
"He could turn on you in a second! You think he's babying you because you're his 'newest addition'."
"Well, yeah. Isn't that what it is? He apologizes right after he does something because he wants me to stick around."
"Hannah, he knows you're strong. He knows about Tyler. He hates losing and he knows that you'd try to beat him."
"Exactly! We could beat him, J.B.! We could WIN!"
"He's afraid of YOU. Not me."
"You just need to stand up for yourself."
"I'm not strong enough. I couldn't do it."
"I could help you."
"I don't want to do this. If I leave him-"
"I'll be proud of you!"
"-He'll kill me."
Silence.
She knew you could do it.
She knew you WOULD do it.
I could see it in her eyes.
Fear.
If she convinced me to do this...
"But-"
"Drop it, Hannah. We both know where this is going."
She didn't want to drop this.
"We could catch him when he's most vulnerable!"
"When? Sleeping with Alexis?"
"I don't think they do very much sleeping..."
I almost laughed.
"You know how this could end."
"Worst case scenario."
"You do realize that I'm not exactly the 'lucky' type, right?"
"Come on! J, honey, baby, sweetie, you can do this."
"Hannah..."
"J.Belle..."
She was desperate.
She hated seeing what you were doing to me.
She hated not being able to accidentally touch my arm without hurting me.
She needed me to come through for her.
But, I wasn't strong enough.
I needed to do this, I knew that!
But I was afraid.
If you killed me...
Hannah would be all alone.
She wouldn't be able to survive you alone.
I don't even know how I did it.
"Hananh, if I was out of the way-"
"I'd leave! I'd run away! I'd-"
"Don't say it."
My voice broke with the tears I was holding back.
"I'd kill myself."
It came out as a whisper.
"And I can't risk that. Even if I was dead. I wouldn't want you to do that to yourself."
"J, what if he didn't kill you?"
"I don't even think that's a possibility anymore."
