The Games We Play

Chapter Three

PRESENT

As I sip my coffee, there's a knock on the door. "Who is it?" I ask, through the door since the peep hole is up too high for me to see through.

"Open up, it's Megan."

I swing the door open. "Hey. It's early." I hug her.

She walks in, her shoulder-length blond hair swinging over her shoulders. "First, I need caffeine." She points to my mug.

I make her a mug while she leans against my counter. "I just came over to see how you're doing. Are you nervous? How long has it been since you saw Ryan?"

"A little over four years. And yes, I'm nervous. I don't think he's expecting me since Sebastian told me last night to go pick him up. He thought I should with everything we've been through."

"You should. When are you going to pick him up?"

I look at the clock hanging on the wall and then back at her. "Like thirty minutes. Oh, God, my stomach is knotting up just thinking about it."

Megan sets her mug down and places both of her hands on my shoulders. "You can do this. I know you think things will be different when you see him, but I bet things pick up right where you left off."

I blow out a deep breath. "You're right. It's not like I'm going to fall in love with him when I see him."

She nods. "Yeah. Sure." She doesn't believe me.

"I'm pathetic, aren't I?"

"No. You're just in love with a man you can't have. He's never been emotionally available. And I'd hate to see you get hurt."

I push the thoughts from my mind. "I should go." I take the last sip of my coffee and grab my handbag.

"Go, I'll lock up." She hugs me again and practically pushes me out the door.

She doesn't know how much I love her. I make a mental note to tell her soon. She's been in my life for nearly four years. She's been my rock since Ryan went away. I honestly don't know where I'd be without her support. I step out into the pouring rain, pushing the lever of my umbrella up to race to my car.

***

After two hours of driving, the sign for the Maryland Penitentiary alerts me I need to make a left at the next exit from the highway. Nervousness settles in me. Entering the prison site, I park right outside the gate and get out of the car with the umbrella protecting me from the rain. I want to see his face when he sees me. And I want a silent moment to drink him in. Will he look the same?

Several minutes pass before the gates click and open. He comes into view and I stand a little taller, smiling as he greets me with a barely there grin. If you didn't know him, you wouldn't see it. But I've known Ryan forever. He's a bit more muscular than I remember, his dark hair falls loosely to the side, and his beard and mustache are neatly trimmed. He does a light jog over to me.

"Get in, out from the rain," he says, reaching for the passenger door of the car. God, I've missed him so much. The man is all muscle. I guess all you can do is sleep, eat, and work out in prison. Fuck, he looks so much hotter. My mouth is suddenly dry.

I slip inside the car, shoving the umbrella in the back.

"Sup, girl?" He wraps a heavily tattooed arm around my shoulders.

I close my eyes, allowing him to hold me for a second before pulling away. Even being apart for five years, my feelings remain the same. Feelings he'll never know about. Feelings I was taught not to have. He was my teacher and I was his student, figuratively speaking.