Star Bound

Chapter Screw Up

THIS IS A FAKE CHAPTER
I AM WRITING
WITH MY FRIEND @AFTONLIN
SO YOU KNOW SCREW IT

"Uh sir," The waiter sets a tray on the table and eyes the doctor with disgust.

The doctor stood atop a table with his hands in the air, yelling like mad and wiggling his arms back and forth.

"SHUT UP HE IS BUSY!!!" I slam my glass down on the table so hard it shatters into a pile of red stained glass shards on the ground.

I turn back to the doctor and focus on him doing his signature move when his foot slides off the table and he backflips off the edge.

His belt catches on the chair back as he face plants into a the ground, his pants flew off revealing his TARDIS blue dalek boxers.

He looks down, hardly phased, stands up, and straightens his bow tie, with a very sophisticated look on his face. Some people clapped. Some people laughed. And some people said some very unprintable words.

"Whoo whooooo," I shouted raising the doctors glass of wine in the air! "That's my boyfriend!"

He swings his pants around his head and let's go, hitting someone in the face. They were so shocked that they dropped their bowl of soup in their lap.

A rather plump man with a short fat mustachioed face stood up, unlatching his own pants and raising his glass.

"I do believe I've started a trend!!!" The doctor announces to the remainder of the room.

Most people ran away as soon as the doctors pants hit the ground.

Others, believe it or not, jumped up on the tables with the doctor.

"Honey, make room on the table!" I stumble up onto my own chair, tripping over my skirt and grabbing the doctors hand.

We scuttle around the tables rim when a pantsless man in the back of the restaurant starts breaking out into...

The funky chicken dance.
Women kicked off their shoes, hiked up their skirts, and started doing their interpretation of dancing.

Suddenly a dalek bursts through yelling their trademark "Exterminate!". Someone yelled and splashed wine in its face. "Room... spinning... must ex.. ex.." the dalek started spinning.

You heard it here first folks!

The best of dalek pest control, getting them drunk!

"I dated a dalek once..." I ramble.

"And I've always wanted a beard, yet both statements mean nothing." The doctor pats my shoulder.

The doctor starts to grunt and make strange faces that I'm very concerned about.

"Doctor," I said. "are you trying to poop? Because there's this thing called a bathroom, and that's where you do that sort of thing."

"No it's just I have a feeling that we left jack home alone."

"Nah," I said. "Afton is babysitting him."

Just then she ran through the door.

"Oh my gosh guys! There's a rumor going on that a madman took off his pants and-"
She looked at the doctor.

"Oh, so what's up?"

"Nothing," I said. "just throwing pants at people, and getting daleks intoxicated."

She was about to say something, probably something like 'what are you talking about' but a dalek interrupted her.

The dalek was holding a rose in its... wisk.

"This is for you doctor. I wrote you a poem.
Roses are red
The TARDIS is blue
Hatred is hot
And so are you"

The doctor took the rose out of its hand and looked at me like 'cukoo... cuckoo'.

"I'm not exactly sure if I should take that as a compliment or not..."
The doctor said.

"Come on doctor don't you pity him just a little bit. I mean the poor dalek has so few emotions left if he has a crush you should roll with it."

"Really. You think I should cheat on you with a gay dalek."

"Yes. I mean no. Well-"

"I feel like I am missing something." Afton says from the corner of the room.

I pick up a glass off the table and swish around the remaining wine. "No. The doctor is just dating this here dalek. Same old, same old."

"Suddenly a security guard walked in, just as a pair of pants perfectly landed on his hed as a hat. Everbody out. NOW!"

"First one to the TARDIS wins" the doctor said to me and Af.
"C'Mon you lovey- dovey- dalek. you too."

As we ran out the door, I poured the remaining wine on the security guards head, and he started chasing us.

As we ran to the TARDIS with the angry security guard chasing us, I thought about the next place we will go with the doctor, and the adventures it will bring.