It's Not About Revenge

9:13 pm

"It's not about revenge." I heard myself say, echoing my sensei's words. I looked at the men in front of me: trained killers, sedated and cuffed to their beds. I knew exactly whom they had killed, where, and when. They told me, because I had offered them each a job.

I had been preparing my cover for eleven months. It had to be perfect, they had to believe I was a ruthless criminal mastermind. I was acting for a while, but in these last few weeks it has gotten all too real. I don't feel like a hero anymore, I'm simply following the plan I wrote down two years ago. Why? Well, I don't know anymore. I used to believe I was doing a good deed, but then all I felt was hate.

I killed the men that killed my family. I didn't feel what I thought I would, so I made plans to go after the greater criminal conspiracy. Looking at those men, I believed I had the key. I turned off the drips before I started that monologue, and one of the assassins began to stir.

"It's not about revenge." I said again, to myself, because I wanted desperately to believe it. I was a hero, once, but I had fallen so far. I put on my mask, the guise of an otherworldly creature, and begun the interrogation.

1:56 am

I approached the run-down building the assassins directed me to. There was an opening in the fence and I walked through. I was distracted by my thoughts, and I didn't realize it was an ambush until I was being shot at. I realized they were the kingpin's personal guard and were incredibly skilled. My shoulder armor was pierced by a bullet; I panicked, running back to my motorcycle and riding away as fast as I could.

I knew I would die that night.

3:22 am

I made it back to base and sealed it up. I had been collecting information on these people for some time and I had a lot of it. I've never been afraid of death, I've been afraid of wasting my life. My pursuers would be at the door any minute. I limped toward my computer. "It's time to be a hero. It's time to make my life count."

3:25

The files are uploading, my pursuers are at the door. I stand and face them. My life flashes before my eyes, and I see what I was really motivated by. It was about revenge. My computer beeps, the sound of the only truly good thing I've ever done. "You're a hero now," says a voice. I blink my eyes, and I'm staring death in the face. "I'm ready," I say, and it all goes black.