3 | The Merthgem Road |

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The track that led from the farm to the Merthgem Road was rocky, but here and there the hoof prints of the bandit's horses were plain to see where they crossed a sandy patch. The thought of running into them made my stomach tighten with fear and a growing rage.

When I set foot on the road, it was the first time I had left the farm since arriving there as a baby. Often I had tried to persuade Kershel and Halash to take me to Merthgem with them, but they had always refused, telling me of how Monila had been found injured. Was it really because they were scared somebody would recognise me and claim me as kin and they would lose me?

Perhaps I had been expecting a feeling of release, maybe some subtle difference in the air or that I would experience the snapping of an invisible tether holding me within the bounds of the farm. Whatever my expectations, I was disappointed to discover that I felt exactly the same off the farm as I did on it. There had been no invisible barrier holding me there, only my family's fears. I sighed and carried on towards Merthgem.

The farm had only existed because of the water the spring gave us and the sandy soil was more fertile than it had originally been due to years of careful husbandry, but the effort of all those years had been wiped out in a single night. Tears ran down my face as I thought about the times when we had all worked the fields together, joking and laughing with each other.

The soil became poorer as I walked downhill from the farm. By mid morning the trees had given way to short, stunted bushes which in turn opened up into a sandy wasteland dotted with sporadic brown clumps of grass. The wind blew across this open land, whipping up sand into swirls of dust which stung my eyes. In the late morning I looked back towards the farm, but it was invisible, lost in the trees which cloaked the foothills of a jagged mountain range.

The road continued straight across the wasteland to Merthgem, but I had no idea how far away the town was or how I was going to feed myself when my small supply of roots had run out. My throat soon grew dry and I took grudging mouthfuls from my water skin and examined the grassland for any edible plants but could see nothing except the endless sand and clumps of grass. The day became hotter as I walked, and drops of sweat ran down my face, I was losing moisture faster than I was taking it in.

At midday I sat down to eat the roots I'd dug up earlier. They were so hard that they were difficult to eat raw, and as I chewed them I tried to work out what I should do next. My water skin was empty and there was no sign of a spring or stream. If I turned back I would be at the farm by early evening. If I carried on I would die. I was dazed by thirst and despair. I put my head down onto my knees. Terrible images of my family flashed into my mind. The bite marks on Veena's breasts, Kershel's almost unrecognisable face, Halash's stab wounds, the stiffness of the dried blood in Doya's shirt. Tears I could not afford to shed leaked from my eyes and I wiped them away with the sleeve of my robe.

Behind me were the mountains and home, and the barren waste lay in front of me, I looked in both directions and considered simply lying down to die.

A musical trill broke my trance. A small brown bird with an orange underbelly settled on a nearby hummock of grass and jabbed at something with its beak. At last its head jerked up and there was some small wriggling creature in its beak. There must be insects in the grass and perhaps I could eat them too. The bird took off into the air and I rose to examine the clump of grass. Then it occurred to me that the bird might be nesting. If so, I might be able to take the eggs from its nest and my spirits rose. Chasing after the bird, I left the road behind, weaving my way between the hummocks and kicking up sand behind me. It flew low, dropping down every so often to peck at a clump of grass and I had to sprint to keep up with it. The bird disappeared abruptly and I slowed down to see where it had gone.

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