love yourself : tear notes U

Jimin 4 July YEAR 22

By the time I returned to my senses, I had washed my arm so much that I was losing skin. My hands were trembling and I was short of breath. My eyes were bloodshot. What had just happened came back to me in fragments.

For a moment I had lost focus. I was dancing with a noona from the dance club, a collaborative dance, but I had lost my flow and we collided. I fell to the rough floor and my arm started to bleed. At that moment I had remembered what happened at the Flowering Arboretum. I thought that I had overcome it. But that wasn’t the case. I had to run away. I had to wash it away. I had to look away. The me in the mirror was the same eight-year-old kid who had run away in the rain. Then all at once I realized. Noona had fallen down too.

There was nothing I could do. All I could do was fall and hurt someone, leave them behind, and tremble at my own pain only to run after them too late with an umbrella before stopping. Every time I took a step rainwater soaked my sneakers. Car headlights passes me by. It wasn’t okay. No it was okay. It didn’t hurt. It wasn’t that serious of an injury. I was really okay.