Avengers One-Shots

Peter/Tony - Let You Down (Pt 2)

*TRIGGER WARNING* This chapter includes cutting and depressed thoughts. Read at your own risk.
Peter woke with a jolt, sweating through his sheets and trembling. Another nightmare about the girl; he couldn't get her out of his head. She plagued his mind with nightmares. Always the same situation but the death always different. He licked his chapped lips and swallowed, his mouth dry. He blinked slowly before pushing the covers off and standing, quick to sit down as a wave of dizziness washed over him, making his head spin. How long had it been since he'd eaten? He swallowed again, parched.
Giving himself a minute before standing again, he slowly walked to the bathroom, getting in the shower. The cold water felt good against his sweaty skin. He got out a few minutes later and put on a pair of basketball shorts and a T-shirt, before leaving his room with a soft close of the door behind him.
He was starting to get a headache as he reached the kitchen of Aunt May's and his apartment. He found a note on the counter reading: 'Peter, I'm going to work. I'll see you around five tonight. Love you, May <3'
Checking the time, Peter remembered it was a Friday. Since he was out of school for the summer, he didn't have to go anywhere today. He sighed, opening the fridge and finding nothing appealing to his stomach. He closed it and told himself he would eat later. Ever since what happened, he'd stopped eating. Only enough to get him through the day, sometimes none at all. He could see his ribs too well through his skin, but he didn't care.
Going to his room, he decided to go visit Mr. Stark and work in the lab with him for a while if the man wasn't too busy. He grabbed his phone, slipping it into his pocket, before looking for his web shooters. He pulled on his suit gingerly, the only reason he was wearing it because it was quicker to get to the base than by car. The mask was suffocating compared to before.
Dropping out onto the fire escape outside his window, he shot a line of web and dropped into the air, swinging his way towards the tower. As he was swinging towards a building, he shot a web and missed, free-falling through the air, the ground below getting dangerously close. He couldn't help but imagine this is what it felt like to the girl. The panic as she waited for the impact but also the freedom as she fell, like a bird soaring through the clouds. All he felt was the panic as he tried to attach a web to anything close.
The ground was only ten feet away and he was still falling. He squinted his eyes closed as he hit the ground with a thud, rolling a few feet before coming to a stop. Groaning, he slowly stood up as pain blossomed in his chest. He'd punctured a lung and could feel his chest tightening like never before.
He gasped as the pain increased quickly, causing him to lose his breath. He couldn't see straight and he stumbled over his feet as he leaned against a metal pole.
"Karen, c-call M-Mr. Stark." Peter heard the AI calling his mentor as he struggled to let out labored breaths.
"Kid, what's going on? You're vitals are going crazy." The man said when he picked up the phone.
"Mr. Stark, I-I don't feel so good. I need your h-help." The last word came out in a whisper as Peter sunk to the ground, vision spotty, feeling himself slipping unconscious. He could hear Tony powering up his suit in the background.
"Hang on Pete. I'm coming." He nodded, vaguely knowing that Tony couldn't see him perform the motion. He held on as long as he could, but he blacked out as he saw the red suit's outline in the edge of his vision.
~~ (9 a.m. the next day)
Peter woke with a cry as his head felt like it was splitting open. This caused him to sit up quickly, pulling the IV out of his arm, the drastic pain in his head causing a wave of nausea to pass over him. He couldn't hold it in and soon he was covered in puke, soaking into his clothes and covers. An unknown hand rubbed his back in soothing motions as he retched up nothing but bile, his stomach cramping as he dry heaved. He let out a sob as tears fell down his face from the pain.
Once he was finished, his ears were ringing and he was exhausted, starting to fall back against the pillows.
"Nuh uh. Hold on, Kid." Tony grabbed a spare shirt and shorts for the teen and helped him change, Peter only a little self conscious about being half naked in front of his mentor, mostly because he was so worn out. But he still noticed the bruising around his abdomen. After he'd changed, Tony patched up the kids arm and carefully lifted the teenager — Peter snuggling into his chest automatically, making Tony's heart melt — before walking to his own room and setting Peter down, placing the covers gently over him and tucking him in.
Poor kid, Tony thought as Peter snuggled under the blankets. Tony went back to the sick bay and replaced the messed up sheets before going back to his room to check up on Peter, who was sleeping soundly. He sighed as he knew he wasn't going to get anymore sleep, so he just sat in the chair in the corner of the room and let his thoughts distract him.
~~
Peter shifted onto his side, eyes closed as his stomach churned. He was going to be sick again. He groaned, just barely restraining the sick from escaping. He could feel it rising in his sore stomach. God, when would it stop! Peter groaned again as he weakened, breathing through his mouth. He leaned up over the bed, putting his hands on the sheets to steady himself as he let it loose; a trash can was put under his mouth. Shaking with pain as he spit up bile, the sound of it hitting the can only made everything worse. Once he was done, he leaned back against the many pillows, seeing Mr. Starks silhouette walk away to get rid of Peter's mess. When he came back he sat on the edge of the bed and asked Peter, "You alright, Pete?"
"I'm sorry, sir." Weakly, he continued. "I-I shouldn't get hurt a-all the time and mess ev-" The older man stopped him mid sentence.
"No Peter, you have nothing to be sorry for. We all make mistakes." The teen nodded at the mans words, before sighing in exhaustion.
"I just want this to be over." Peter closed his eyes as he talked; he didn't want to see Tony's pitying face. "I can't deal with it anymore. I keep seeing her, in my nightmares, when I blink, everywhere." He shrank into himself as he whispered the last word, a few tears dropping down his face onto his pillow. "She's making me not me. And I don't know how to stop it."
"Pete, I know we shouldn't talk about this when you're sick but I think you need therapy. Before this gets worse."
Peter's eyes filled with sadness as his mouth twisted into a frown. Therapy? Did Mr. Stark really think that badly of him?
"Therapy?" He lowered his head as Tony sighed.
"I'm sorry Pete, but I think it's best." The 15 year old nodded before leaning back against the pillows, Tony's cue to leave and let him get some sleep. As he shut the door to the room softly, he went to the lab to try and get some work done. Or maybe to just distract himself from his constant need to fix everything his life revolved around. God he hoped the kid would be okay.
~~*TRIGGER WARNING*
Peter had just concluded his first therapy session and he was mad. The therapist (Chris) was so infuriating. He just sat there in his chair and stared at Peter, asking him stupid questions about his favorite color and where he goes to school. He was fed up and wanted to sleep. How was this, in any way, going to help him with his so-called "issues"?! He was looking out the window, his earbuds drowning out all noise on the way to see Tony.
Happy looked ahead at the road, silent, occasionally glancing at the teen in the backseat without him noticing. Once they arrived, Peter got out of the car with a 'thanks Happy' and walked up to the front door before heading inside. As the afternoon passed, Peter worked with Mr. Stark on suit upgrades, this and that, etc.
As they worked Peter could feel himself getting overwhelmed and he didn't know what to do. He excused himself to the bathroom with a worried glance from Tony before leaving the room and walking down the hall, hearing a bang on the expensive floor as the man dropped something heavy followed by cursing.
Once he got to the bathroom, he closed and locked the door, taking a deep breath. He felt his mind beginning to imagine different scenarios of him as Spider Man, hurting and killing the people he saved. Stabbing them, dropping them from buildings, shooting them. His chest felt heavy as he sunk to the cold floor of the huge bathroom. No, he didn't do that. He's never and will never do that to innocent people. Especially as Spider Man.
Peter had to stop thinking about it. But how? He stood up from the floor and looked through the cabinets. Surely there was something, anything here that could relive his pain and get his mind away from things. He checked the cabinets and found a pair of scissors used for cutting gauze and other medical supplies. It would do for now.
He fisted them tightly in one hand and rolled up his sleeve with the other, before shakily marking his arm with the mostly sharp scissors. A cut about the length of his pinky finger formed on his forearm and blood started to escape, sliding down his arm as he hastily grabbed some paper towels and wiped away the excess liquid. Even though it was making a mess, it felt good. All the things he'd been thinking of before, vanished and he thought only of the pleasure this act brought him. He realized he'd been in the bathroom too long and Mr. Stark was probably waiting on him.
Peter dabbed at the cut with paper towels, but it didn't stop the flow. He pulled more and put them around the area before pulling his sleeve over them. He could probably excuse himself for the day and tell Mr. Stark he was feeling under the weather. He'd be able to leave in ten minutes and it'd be all good. He exited the bathroom and walked back to the lab, finding Tony finished working and sitting in his desk chair scrolling through designs for future updates.
"Hey, Kid. Doing okay?" The teen nodded as he sat down in an extra chair, answering Tony's question.
"Yeah, m'fine." He replied sinking lower into his seat. Tony dismissed the display he'd been looking at with a wave of his hand and gazed at Peter questioning, but didn't force. After an awkward minute of silence, Peter spoke up.
"Mr. Stark, I was wondering if I could have the rest of the day off? I wasn't feeling good at school earlier and I think it's finally catching up to me." The young teenager looked to his mentor for an answer as he got a yes in response. He sighed in relief at this before going to grab his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.
"Thanks, Mr. Stark." Peter's nerves were buzzing. So close to the exit! Just as he stepped inside the elevator, Mr. Stark called out.
"Oh and Peter?" Peter froze. "Call me Tony; you know my last name makes me feel old." Peter nodded as the elevator doors closed, causing him to let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He lifted his sleeve to look at the blood soaking through the towels. He'd have to change them soon before anyone noticed.
~~
Peter had been ignoring Tony ever since the man had found bloody scissors in his guest bathroom. The man had called him and asked him about it while Peter assured him it was nothing before quickly hanging up the phone, his stomach filling with guilt that he'd almost been caught.
~~ (About three weeks later)
Tony had invited Peter over to the lab one morning to help him with some things but really he just wanted to see the kid. Make sure he was doing okay. His leg was bouncing up and down; he decided he would have to go down on the coffee intake.
Peter walked into the door just as Tony was pouring his cup down the sink.
"Hey Pete. How's it going?" The kid shrank a little, before replying with a 'good.' Tony noticed this but let it be. He'd ask about it later. The two colleagues got to work in silence, not really sure how to start a conversation. Tony decided to just get it over with.
"Kid, look I know you don't want to tell me about the phone call a while back, but don't hesitate to say anything to me. 'Kay?" Peter nodded before going back to his work. His brain was trying to process a million things at once and it was overwhelming. He glanced at Tony before sighing, trudging over to a chair and plopping down into it. The man watched as the disheartened kid ran a hand through his hair nervously.
"Uh..um. I-I know this is wrong but it feels so right. And I don't expect you to want me back here after I show you, but I- I had to tell someone. I just..I wanted peace from the pain. It felt right." Peter paused for a moment before lifting his sleeve as tears fell down his face every second. "I'm sorry, Tony." The boy shook with fear and shame as Tony's mouth opened in shock. There was a littering of cuts scattered across the kids arm, some old and healing, some new and irritated. How had he let this happen to the boy? Peter didn't deserve this.
Tony walked over to Peter with tears in his eyes and sunk to the floor in front of the teenager. He carefully wrapped his calloused hands around the boys arm before softly rubbing his fingers over the scars.
"I'm sorry Pete. I should've protected you better, I should've known you felt this way. I'm so sorry for that." Tony's head drooped in shame. He felt fingertips lift his chin as Peter met his mentors glassy eyes. The young interns bottom lip trembled as he cried more tears, the flow never ending.
"Mr. Stark. It's not your fault, it's mine. It's always been mine." Tony shook his head 'no' at Peters shaking form, pulling the kid into his embrace on the floor, tangling their bodies together in a heap. He rested his chin on the younger mans head as he kissed his hair.
"That's not true Peter. You're the strongest, kindest, bravest kid I've ever known and you can get through this. You just have to keep trying." Peter nodded as he listened to what Tony said.
"I believe in you, Peter. I believe in you."

~So keep on climbing, though the ground might shake
Just keep on reaching though the limb might break
We've come this far, don't you be scared now
'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down~