Is It Worth It?

Chapter 30

EMILY'S POV

I couldn't breath to speak anymore so I just walked off the podium to a lonely tree and I just sat there, I couldn't move, and I just cried, and cried. I felt someone coming so I cleaned my tears and got up...

I was Aaron...

- Don't worry, no need to get up

I sat back down and he sat next to me.

- Hotch I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I don't know if I can take the pain anymore. Every memory hurts; and I need to be strong for my kids, but I can't find the strength anymore...

I was sobbing and he came close to me, put his arm around me and said:

- I know exactly what you are going through. I felt the same way when Hayley died. The only thing that kept me going was Jack. If it wasn't for Jack I would have probably committed suicide. I haven't told that to anyone, but it's true. The pain was greater than me but I had to make my best effort to keep my life running for Jack. Right now you have to do the same thing. You have 2 daughters that need you and Declan needs you too. You are their life support, you are their light in this darkness, so you have to be brave and strong for them.

- Thank you Hotch. You are right I have to be the bigger person and suck it up. My kids need me and they are the most important thing to me right now.

- If you ever need to talk or you need help call me.

- Thank Hotch

- Call me Aaron.

He stood up and gave me a hand. Then I walked back to find Declan.

- Mommy!!!

He came running with tears in his eyes.

- I miss him mommy, I don't want him to go.

- I know baby I miss him too, but we have to let him go because he will always be in our hearts. Remember that, he is watching us from heaven.

He just hugged me and I hugged him really tight. I'm not a big religious person, but I believe there's a God or someone watching over us and I know that if there is a heaven, Derek is up there watching. We just hugged there for a while until my mom, my brother and Derek's parents approached us.

- Rossi just invited us to his house to have a small reunion, if you feel like going. - My mom said

- Declan, honey, what do you want to do?

- Can we go see Mila and Maddie?

- Of course baby!

- I'll talk to David - Said my mom

- If you want you guys can go to his house.

- We are going - Said Derek's parents

- Mom, Harley, you guys should go too. Tell the team I took a detour, I might show up but I don't know.

- Okay honey, be careful.

- I will mom.

With that said I got into an SUV and drove to the hospital to visit the M&M's.

- Are you excited to see them?

- Yes mommy, they make me forget what's going on.

- That's good baby...