Until Death

II

It is much easier to break vows than honor them!

Six years into the marriage, it was still relative bliss and happiness. Having a child wasn't easy though and facing the entering seventh years of their union, lying tensions rose and unsaid words were harshly disputed. Sleeping dogs could no longer lie.

Funnily, a dog was bought.

A dog she hated and no matter what she said, he wouldn't let go of the ever-barking animal. Far from being a welcome presence as he thought it would have been, the pet became another subject of infinite spars. No way could an animal fill the gap that was widening too much between them.

A year passed and the tensions rose even more. The dog was barking still. More soundly now thus more annoyingly. Her stomach was empty still. And the love in their marriage was diminishing way too fast.

There had been false hope that ended in miscarriages and worse, there had been denials. What a horrible thing it was, a pregnancy's denial. Believing for months in the existence of a child who had never been there in the first place to the point where the brain would round the stomach as though it was really happening.

Such a thing had only worsened the situation.

The first time he did it, wasn't premeditated at all. He was just unwilling to go back early for having, the morning before, had a particularly nasty row with his wife. He couldn't...wouldn't... was just tired of hearing her talk about doctors and children, and pregnancy... a pregnancy she would never have.

They were just friends. Had been for a long time and 'she' was the one he talked to when he had troubles with his wife. A situation that was almost permanent now.

By the time he realized what was happening, they had already laid together. The guilt of the first time was too much to bear. After that and for a time, he bent to his wife's every whim, listened and complied to further medical testing and tried his best to make her happy, conscious of her every move perking his ears, eyes and other sensing fearing something would give him away.

He was unwilling and quite afraid to confess what he had done in a moment of inebriety. He still, no matter what, loved his wife very much, he realized.

Medical expertise failed them once again. The idea of adoption was once again brought on the table and discarded. Anger, mood swings, gloominess and negative feelings were back in their routine again.

Yet they were both too stubborn to know when it was time to let go.

The next time it happened, he was sober. He didn't know why it happened, not really. The guilt was less than the first time but his willingness to try and mend his relationship with his wife was still there.

The third time, he realized with horror, he was in love with 'her'. He couldn't understand when it changed, when it turned from simple colleagues to friendship then love.

Each time that followed, the guilt reduced.

Two years later and there was already no more guilt to feel and instead, the idea to relieve himself from this marriage was finally here. It stayed, for a time the ever-constant feeling he was experimenting.