My Coming Out To My Parents Story

Coming Out To My Parents

    It was a hot summer night in the small town of Clyde, TX. To be exact it was midnight, and I was sitting on the couch next to my mother's recliner thinking about the years past. We were both watching a cooking show on the television and my father had already gone to bed. I thought about the past few years and the biggest secret I have had in my life since early middle school. I used to smile all the time, but as I was realizing that I was different I drew into myself, barely speaking unless spoken to. I have struggled with accepting who I was for years, convincing myself that something was wrong with me. I knew I was different, but I could not figure out why I was this way when I would hear about all the time that who I was a sin and that everybody who is like me was going to hell. I struggled with this thought for years, always fearing the worst. Everyday I tried changing who I was, becoming mentally exhausted. Until recently when I finally gave up on the mental torment and accepted myself for who I am, which led me to what I was about to do next.

    Sweating profusely from nerves and about to burst into tears, I thought about what I was about to do. I was about to reveal the biggest secret I have ever had to my mother. I feared rejection and being kicked out of the house. As I was sitting there playing on my phone, I had a sudden burst of confidence and opened the memo app on my phone. 

I sat there staring at my phone for a bit when all of a sudden I started typing "What would you do if one of your children was gay or bisexual?" Fighting to hold back the tears I boldly showed my mother my phone. As she read it I nervously waited for a response.

   I watched her open her mouth and start speaking the words "Why would you ask me such a question?" As soon as those words were spoken, I could not hold back the tears any longer and I burst out crying.

   She asked me if I was gay or bisexual, and all I could do was whisper "bisexual" in response. Throughout the next few minutes we sat in an awkward silence, I was fearing the worst. I feared rejection and being kicked out onto the streets. But then just as the thoughts ran across my mind again she said those reliving words.

   She told me that for as long as she can remember she knew that I was bisexual and accepted me for who I am. She told me that she still loved me and even though she believes that being LGBT is not okay, she still accepted me and would support me through anything that might come my way. This was a huge relief to me because I am not sure what would have happened to me if she had said that she did not accept me.

   After a few more moments my mother went to her room to wake my father up. I had calmed down a little by then, but it was not any easier telling him, because all my life both of my parents, especially my father, have made it known that they were against the LGBT community.

Noticing that I was extremely upset my father asked "What is wrong?"

I sat silent for a few moments trying to gather my thoughts, then I blurted out, "I am bisexual"

"How long have you known this?" he asked

Confidently I told him,"I have known that I was different since middle school and I have kept it a secret for all these years."

"Why did you feel like you had to keep in a secret so long?" he asked

"I had to go through a personal battle of accepting who I was before I could allow anybody else to try and accept me." I said

To this day I still have some issue when it comes to my dad accepting me fully for who I am, but we are working with each other to help get to a common ground. Now that I am out and proud of who I am, I can not wait to be able to be with someone without having to fear my parents finding out. 

This is my coming out story. I am great-full that I have such an accepting family. Not every family is like this and for those out their who are struggling to accept who you are just know that you are loved by many and you are not alone. If you need someone to talk to, I am here.

~Cheyeanne