my rose ♡ e.d.

01

song for chapter: 

wonder - honeywater

(put on repeat if necessary :))

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Momma<3: Answer your calls.

Momma<3: You've been gone for 3 hours while I've been home unpacking. Do you realize how much trouble you are in?

I ignored the texts and continued walking along the line where the water meets the sand. There wasn't anything else I wanted to do but this. The sound of the waves hitting the shore made me feel most at home. The sky changing colors from blue to an ombre of orange and yellow had a special place in my heart. The beach was my get away in Hawaii and is now my only get away in Los Angeles. There is no way I can ever survive in California without the sand in my toes. My mom has always been okay with letting me stay in Hawaii with my dad while she is required to travel and move place to place for her job. I had to move along with her this time. It sucks when you move but sucks even more when you have to move out of a state you've lived in for 16 years.

I haven't had a chance to explore the smoggy city because I've spent all my time at the beach. I guess I'm afraid to go out to the open. I overthink way too many things and ask myself way too many questions when I don't know what to do. Like how am I supposed to act out there? What am I supposed to say? I'm afraid I won't be able to find the confidence to go up to someone and be comfortable enough to call them a friend. The hard part is that I'm going to have to overcome all these thoughts to be able to live out here. 

The time read 7:24 as I unlocked my phone for the first time since I began my walk around 4. The only notifications that filled my phone were texts and calls from my mom. Ignoring them, I clicked onto Instagram and looked through my feed. My thumb scrolled quickly through all the posts, only liking the few that catch my eye. I did the same on all my platforms and I found myself taking a bus home. 

The bus was nearly empty of people except for me and another woman coming from work. A rush of chill hit my body as I laid my arm on the window frame. The thoughts that were completely blocked out for 3 hours arose in my head. My mind was completely clustered with bad thoughts. I closed my eyes for the remaining trip back home, knowing what exactly is going to happen the second I step foot in the house.

"This is the last stop." the driver announces as I flutter my eyes open. The woman that joined me on the drive has already left and the driver was only waiting on me to step out. I hold my phone in one hand and my bag in the other. My leg fell asleep during the ride and it gave out with every other step.

"Do you need help?" the driver asked me.

I shook my head in response and she went her way as I went mine. The bus stopped a few houses away from where I'm supposed to be.  It was almost pitch black outside and I couldn't see anything so I tripped on the first step heading into my house. My mom was already waiting for me.

"Lani."we made eye contact, "I was worried sick. You didn't answer my calls, my texts. I'm so upset with you. I thought I lost you!" she stopped, "You know what? Just forget it. I don't want to discuss this any further."

I felt tears form at the corners of my eyes. I slowly nod and start to head up to my room to avoid anymore problems. She called my name again, "Lani? I'm sorry. I'm just glad you're safe. I don't want to lose you too." 

"You won't lose me." my voice was raspy, "I love you." My mom grinned and left to grab her laptop while I continued to make my way up the stairs into my room. 

You know that fresh car smell? My new room didn't smell like fresh car but it had the same feeling. Unpacked boxes flooded my bedroom floor along with bags of clothing. I bust open the box that held all my pillows and blankets. I threw myself onto my bed and let out a huge groan. My head ached because of how tired I was. My body was covered with my white blanket as I scrolled through Instagram for the second time today. 

A picture of the Dolan Twins that was posted a few seconds ago was the first thing that popped up on my feed. I have to admit that they were some fine boys but I was never interested in them. Youtube wasn't something I went to for entertainment so I never went deep into their content. Vine was the only platform I've really seen them on and I still didn't look into them but for some odd reason, tonight I couldn't stop looking at them. At first glance there is no difference in their appearance to me. I don't know what it was, but I was more attracted to Ethan. The more I thought about it the more lost I became.

 After a good 5 minutes of trying to figure out why this boy is different from anyone I've ever seen, I locked my phone and turned off my light. It took a while to get into a comfortable position for me to fall asleep completely. 

Ethan was just a distraction.

 And I truly believed that because he was all I could think about.

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OH MY GOODNESS FIRST CHAP IS UP!!!!!!

you guys have no idea how happy i am that this chapter is finally done. i had completed this chapter already earlier today but IT GOT DELETED AKDHCIHBELFWE so i had to rewrite EVERYTHING for about 2 hours. i had such a struggle with trying to plan this chapter out and was struggling with my introduction without going straight into the plot and that's a no no. 

i didn't want to start off this story with anything sappy or sad so if i didn't accomplish not doing that then i am so sorry haha 

i'm also sorry this chapter is very short :( i'm going to make the future chapters way longer than this one!

 i'm soooooososososossososo happy i got this up in time! i really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! thank you! 

<3 syd