(a Humvee is a military light truck)
To the boy in the Humvee:
i think i love you. i think me and you are supposed to be together. that God allowed me to see you — even though it was only a second— He allowed me to see you as you smiled and looked away without making eye contact so I could catch a glimpse at one of my possible futures. you.
you were so beautiful. beautiful in a manly way of course. but oh my you were.
i didn't catch you looking at me, but my mom did. she smiled to herself knowing that one of my prayers had been answered.
when you looked away and the red light stayed red for a second longer. I looked at you and at your smile and at your blonde hair and tan skin. and at your army uniform. i memorized your face.
green light.
i watched you turn left in the opposite direction as i was going. i watched my future— my answered prayer— drive away.
i'll never see him again. and maybe next week I wont even think of him anymore. but.... he was for me.
i felt the connection of our spirits. our souls are destined to be together.
or maybe we aren't and I'm just being dramatic and overthinking what I felt when I saw you. maybe we won't ever see each other again. and maybe we aren't meant to be.
if this true then I pray that God takes these feelings of longing for you away from me. because right now i think i love you. i saw my entire future in you. and we haven't ever spoken. I don't know your name or the first thing about you. but something won't let me forget you.
today i was at a coffee shop and i made my sister pray with me at the table. i prayed God would allow us to be together. or that He would allow me to at least see you again.
or that if i couldn't, that He would take my memory of you away.
it's insane how it's like my guard that i have on my heart disappeared when i looked at you. i didn't let my guard down. my guard vanished. all because of you.
and I don't believe in love and first sight— or at least I didnt. until i saw you.
boy in the Humvee, i think i love you.
—
Anyone who is reading this, PLEASE do one of the two things:
- please pray that i see my boy again. this is so out of my normal self to ask this, but i seriously think i'm in love with him and i need to see him again. please pray that me and the boy in the Humvee will cross paths again. please.
- if you have ever gone through what i am going through right now.. please message me advice on how to get over him. i don't want to feel like this for a boy I'll never see again.
I know I sound insane. I probably am. I just can't describe it. it's this feeling I've never had before and I can't shake it.
