Silence

13 - You are driving me crazy

The next few days were just weird. I avoided Felix as much as I could, I had a strange feeling that talking to him wasn't safe anymore, and it annoyed the hell out of me.My friends now all new what happened and seemed rather amused than shocked. 

Even though I usually think about Jesse all the time, Felix crosses my mind much more than I'd like it. Not necessarily in a 'gosh he's so hot' kind of way, but more in a 'what the hell is wrong with me' way.

I've avoided him for a week now, it's Saturday and I can finally breathe. No school, no Felix, no Jesse.

Parker, Stephanie, Jules and I are all in the warehouse, talking, laughing and occasionally smoking. We all have our reasons to escape our homes for a day, but instead of talking about our shitty family lives we prefer to have fun in our hide-out spot. None of our parents know about this place.

Jules is sitting on the ground leaning her head against Stephanie's legs, whatever they were fighting about, they made up less then six hours after that.

Parker is standing in front of a wall close by spraying some new mural while I'm sitting on a chair, watching the swift movement of his hands. I love watching Parker paint, he is amazing at that. I really wish he had it easier with his father when it comes to art.

I snap out of it when my phone buzzes next to me. I read the message.

Felix: Hey. Can we talk? 

"Guys..!" I call them, slightly panicked. I don't really want to face Felix.

They read the message and Stephanie immediately squeals from excitement

"You guys should meet, Katie." Jules says with a calm voice.

"You think?" I ask unsure.

"I think you should talk about that, and I mean really talk. You can make out after." Parker answers for her and Stephanie nods eagerly next to him.

"Alright, Fine." I huff still a little unconvinced. I know they're right. Originally I wanted to ignore him for as long as possible, but with everything going on right now I don't want any more problems than I need. So I text him back.

Katie: Ok.

"Wow, way to go Katie." Parker mocks after reading my extremely short answer. I just roll my eyes at him and wait for Felix to reply. It doesn't take long.

Felix: My house in an hour?

"He wants me to come to his house." I say to my friends as if looking for approval. Before they can say anything though I quickly reply before changing my mind.

Katie: See you in an hour.

As I'm driving I think about what I'm going to say. I'll tell him that it was an accident and that I don't even like him. Right? I'm going over it in my head several times when I suddenly realize that I've been driving around for over thirty minutes and am now late.

I pull onto his driveway and get out of the car, a little nervous.

Not long after ringing the doorbell Felix opens the door. He is wearing black jeans and a t-shirt of a band that I actually like very much, unfortunately.

"Hey." he says, seeming unusually nervous. "Come in." he opens the door wider to let me in once again.

"Hi." is all I manage to say.

We're awkwardly standing in the hallway now. 

"You wanted to talk." I say cutting straight to the point.

"Yeah, look, about what happened..." he seems to be unsure what to say.

"Listen.." I interrupt him. "It was kind of a mistake, right?" my voice sounds less confident than intended.

"Was it?" he asks instead of answering. His face is unreadable, once again.

"Yeah, I mean we didn't really know what we were doing and it all kind of happened really fast.." I mutter a little confused while Felix is slowly walking towards me.

"What are you doing?" I ask arching my eyebrow.

"Nothing." he says with a smirk on his face still walking towards me, dangerously close now.

I start backing away but bump into the wall behind me. He is so close now that I can feel his breath on my skin. God he is annoying, I came to talk and now this happens. I hate how he is still smiling down at me and I hate how I am once again not able to move away. I knew this was a bad idea.

"You were saying?" he says looking me straight into the eyes, looking very amused.

"I.. I mean, I don't even.. like you." I stutter, his smile growing. "You are driving me crazy, you know that idiot?" I'm starting to get angry now.

"Exactly." he says, his lips almost touching mine. "And you're driving me crazy." his face is growing serious again.

I look up at him, realizing what he just said and the meaning of it. It scares me.

I bite my lip, still unable to move. I know what's going to happen next. I know I want it to happen.

I slowly nod looking into his piercing blue eyes. He seems to understand what I'm trying to say and a beautiful but annoying smile stretches across his face.

Then he kisses me without another warning. Yet again a little overwhelmed I don't know what to do, my mind is racing. Luckily my body takes over and I swing my arms around his back burying my hands into his soft dark curls.

I kiss him back almost forcefully, while his hands trail down from my waist to my hips, pulling me closer to him. His tongue meets mine and I cling to him in order to keep standing on my feet.

This time is slightly different. The silence is still there, but it's beautiful now, as if it's just meant for us. I know something changed this time. I'm not sure what it means but I don't care right now.

I don't know how long we've been standing here like this, but the kiss only grows more passionate and our breaths shorter. Realizing this Felix pulls away , looking into my surprised face.

"Okay, listen..." he starts a little out of breath. "I like you, okay? And whatever this is, can you please just stop avoiding me?"

I simlpy stare at him.

"Okay?" he asks again.

I don't know what to say. I am completely clueless right now.

I just nod. He smiles.

Even though his smile is still annoying, I can't help but smile too.Seeing this, his smile grows even bigger and he brings his face down once again to kiss me.

This time the kiss is deeper, slower. Silence. I shiver at this now somewhat familiar feeling.