peachy. timothée chalamet

ix.

nine
real life

"can we talk about it?"

rose and timothée were laying in his bed around 3 am when he spoke. he never had to specify what exactly it was that he was referring to, but rose knew. that day was still fresh in her mind — an open wound that had been only loosely stitched. every aching moment that she lived through, the threads that held her together were tugged at, and every moment they came undone ever so slightly. tonight, though, all it took was to hear timothée's voice for the threads to fall completely.

"talk about what?" she thought about that moment every day since she left, yet she still wanted to play dumb towards the boy. she didn't want to show him that he still had such an immense amount of power over her after being separated for so long.

timothée rolled over to face her completely. she was absolutely gorgeous and deserved to be given a person's full attention. even after everything they had been through, rose was the best person to come into his life and was the only person he ever truly and deeply loved.

"we were stupid, timmy," rose sighed. "we didn't know what we were doing."

"i knew what i was doing," he responded. "i was in love with you. you were the first girl i ever loved, and i knew from the moment you stumbled into the school's auditorium that i was going to be with you for a long time. but we didn't last."

she reached out and brushed away a curl from his face. her hand continued to rest against his cheek as she smiled lightly. "you were incredible to me. you really were. but you said it yourself — i was the first girl you loved. you had no idea how to handle any of this."

it was true. he was fifteen and immature, but so was she. rose had no more experience in the dating realm than he did, and the day that she ended things with him was the day that both of them realized it.

he didn't respond though. instead he took her hand in his, rubbing a thumb over the small ring that she still wore on her left finger. rose had wondered on several occasions why exactly she never removed it. each time, she lacked an answer.

but now, staring at the boy who had asked her to wear it five years prior to this very moment, she finally had her answer. it was something she would never speak aloud, but it was in fact something timothée would.

"i'm still in love with you."

he gazed at her for a while after saying this. even in the faint light, he could see that her eyes were dark and filled with the look she got when she was processing things. after a minute, however, the cloudiness cleared from her irises and she pulled him close to her.

"i know," she whispered as his hand stroked her hair. "i know."

they stayed like that until daylight broke through his bedroom window, and with it came a steady stream of tears from both of their eyes as they realized just how messed up they truly were.

( author's note ! )
mckenna knows that tea about this book so sorry if she ruins it for anyone