Mercy

Chapter 38

When Shawn returned to his hotel room, he sat on the edge of the bed and felt a wave of emptiness. His physical needs were met by Dolores, but inside he felt loneliness and heartache.

He instinctively checked his phone. No new messages.

This feeling of loneliness was becoming overbearing. He needed a distraction. He got his electric guitar and began messing around with some chords. He had devoted his spare time into learning that Santana song that he had danced to with Camila. It was really coming along; however, he always ended up stopping midway through and thinking about the feeling of dancing with her to this song.

The fact that she was in a relationship with this British guy really hurt his heart.

Just then an incoming facetime call was coming in. The caller name caused Shawn to smile.

"Sup bro?"

Charlie smiled. "Oooo you are jammin' electric. Cool."

Shawn nodded. "What are you up to?"

"At my home, away from home."

Shawn nodded understanding completely. "Working on anything good?"

Charlie's eyes widened and appeared to sparkle. He would always get that way when he was writing and/or recording music.

"Hey, do you want to come by?"

Suddenly, Shawn didn't feel so alone. "Um, actually...yeah. Are you sure?"

"Of course. See you in a bit."

"Later, bro." Shawn said then jumped up and headed out.

When Shawn arrived at the studio, Charlie opened the door wearing only jeans and headphones around his neck resting on his shoulders. "Come on in, buddy." He said then hugged Shawn.

It was meant to be a quick hello, but Shawn held on for longer than Charlie expected.

Charlie made a motion to step away, but squeezed tighter after realizing that Shawn needed a long hug.

"Dude, what's wrong?"

The sound of a muffled "Nothing." Made Charlie smile.

"Bullshit."

Shawn actually did not want to talk about. He ignored the comment and stepped out of the hug. "So, can you show me what you have so far?"

Charlie nodded. He knew that Shawn would eventually tell him what was up.

"Check this out." He said after sitting down in front of the control board.

Shawn sat beside him and watched intently.

Charlie beatboxed and threw out some arbitrary lyrics.

Shawn grinned as he bopped his head to the beat.

"This was the initial hook, then I changed it."

Shawn listened as he chaotically explained his thought process leading up to this point. "I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Do you always record shirtless?"

Charlie laughed. "It is freeing. You should try it."

"I'll think about it."

"Please invite me when you do." He said flirtatiously with a wink.

"You've seen me plenty of times without a shirt on. We were roomates, dude."

Charlie smiled at him. "I know...trust me...I remember."

Shawn felt uncomfortable and stood up to walk around.

Charlie could sense that he went too far. "I'm sorry, bro. Sometimes I take it too far."

Shawn continued to walk around and started looking at some of the pictures on the wall.

"Shawn, man. Can you talk to me? I'm sorry."

Shawn waved it off. "I am not mad at you."

Charlie stood up and walked over to him. "What's wrong then? I've known from that long ass hug that something is not right. You know you can talk to me...right?"

Shawn nodded then sat on the couch.

Charlie joined him. "Can I get you something? Tea? Coffee?"

Shawn shook his head.

They sat in silence for a bit.

"Is there something wrong with me?"

This took Charlie by surprise. "What's that now?"

Shawn turned to face him. "Why do I want things I can't have?"

"It happens to all of us man."

Shawn shook his head. "No, I seriously think it's me."

"There is nothing wrong with you Shawn."

Shawn turned and leaned back in a lounging position on the couch.

Charlie caressed his cheek. "You are perfect."

Shawn blushed under at his touch.

Charlie then kissed Shawn on the shoulder and rested his cheek there.

"Charlie?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Remember when you told Emery what you thought of her?"

Charlie smiled and sighed. "Ahhh, bliss."

Shawn chuckled.

"What about it?"

"You said there were things you were pretty sure you were never going to get to do to me?"

Charlie said nothing.

"Do you remember?"

"Of course."

"What are those things?" he asked innocently.

Charlie blushed. "What?"

"Can you tell me, please?"

Charlie took a deep breath then leaned into Shawn's neck so his lips could be close to his ear. He began to whisper things into Shawn's ear.

At first Shawn grinned and then his eyes widened.

"Is that all?"

Charlie snickered. "Not even close." He said then continued confessing into his ear.

"Wow, that felt good to say out loud." He said in relief then waited for Shawn to respond in some way.

Shawn turned his head to look at him. "What has stopped you?"

Charlie looked at him like he was crazy. "You were in love with a loon."

"Charlie, please. I feel ashamed enough for hanging on for all of these years."

Charlie actually felt guilty. "You are right. I apologize."

"Charlie?"

"Yes, Shawn."

"Are you mad because you haven't been able to do 'those things' to me?"

"Mad? Absolutely not because I know that you would never let me do those things and I would never try to do them."

"You know this, aye?"

He nodded. "You know how it would hurt me if you experimented with me and I know that you like women."

"You know, I did feel something when you whispered those things to me."

Charlie smiled. "Just confirms that I am so charming it crosses sexualities."

Shawn laughed out loud. "That is true."

"So, what are you doing to do about Camila and Mr. Fish and Chips?"